Tidings of Comfort and Joy
by harrypanther
Summary: Modern AU. Christmas approaches and Astrid Hofferson, perennial grump, finds herself helping a homeless man and getting more than she bargained for. Hiccstrid.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own How to Train Your Dragon. Rights remain with Cressida Cowell and Dreamworks.**

 **Acknowledgement: This is inspired by RedLegoManiac's 'Homeless Haddock'. If you haven't read it, I recommend it!**

 **A/N: Christmas (or Snoggletog) is a difficult time of year for some people and while it is a time to celebrate and be with family, it's very hard on those with no family, few resources, no home or who associate the time of year with loss. Sometimes, comfort can come from unexpected sources. Merry Christmas!**

 **One.**

He thought he was immune to the icy chill, had become used to the bitter freezing weather that constituted the northern town of Berk's normal winter weather but as he sat in his normal place, huddled as much as he could, he realised he was probably going to freeze to death if he stayed. The cold had spread into his very bones and his body was growing heavy, his head muzzy. Basic training had taught him the symptoms of hypothermia and he knew that if he did nothing he would die.

And perhaps it would be for the best.

As he moved, pain lanced up from his stump, the prosthetic pressing painfully against the tender skin, supersensitive in the subzero temperatures. He hissed, his shoulders hunching at the surge of pain and he gritted his teeth. It had been a long time since the prosthetic was fitted and he guessed he should have gone back for revisions but when he had arrived home and found the disaster that had befallen him, he hadn't the impetus or the will to bother any more. Everything was gone and his life had spiralled downwards from there.

But he hadn't lain down and died. Every time something had stopped him giving up-probably his innate stubbornness. He had made his choices and some of this was a consequence of this-though fate had decreed he was never given a chance to make amends with those he had left behind. His family was gone and his friends…he shuddered. He doubted they even knew he was alive now. No-he had nothing and no one…except Toothless.

He glanced down at the shape curled against him under the edge of the blanket. He knew he was a pretty unappetising sight, curled up wrapped in a ragged blanket and a folded cardboard box, his denim jacket over a filthy hoodie that was over a discarded sweater. His jeans were ragged and going into holes and a heavy boot covered his right foot. Strips of rag were wrapped around his hands as he pulled the blanket tight. He knew there were ice crystals in his scruffy beard and the tip of his nose was freezing, so he pulled up the scarf he had found in the trash a week earlier over his lower face, leaving only the upper part visible with his bright green eyes and some scruffy dark auburn hair poking wildly out from under the peak of his battered Berk Vikings Baseball cap.

Toothless pressed more firmly against him. The black dog was young, very thin and definitely a mixture of various breeds. His big green eyes were intelligent and he was devoted to the man who had pulled the small puppy from the trash, feeding him at the expense of his own hunger and earning a loyal companion and friend-his only friend in the world.

Slowly, he levered himself up, hissing as he put weight through his leg. It was stabbing again and he grimaced as he shuffled another step. Toothless looked up, his ears pricked and he whined.

"I know, bud," he murmured, his voice thick and hoarse from disuse. He didn't speak much now because he only had Toothless to speak to and then he coughed. For a few moments, he struggled with the spasm, grimacing and fighting for breath before he straightened up. "If we stay here, we'll end up as popsicles. Time to see if any of the shelters will take us."

The dog scrambled up and shook himself, limping. He had been kicked recently by a drunk as the pair had quietly sat huddled in an alley behind 'the Edge' Bar and his owner suspected the dog had a cracked bone in his leg-but he had no resources to get the dog treated. so they were a matching pair, limping along, wrapped in a ragged blanket and seeking shelter.

As they made it out onto the street, it began to snow, icy flakes blowing into the man's eyes. He blinked and sighed, his eyes scanning the impressive illuminations arching across the street as they headed up towards the town plaza.

"Yeah," he said bitterly. "Merry Christmas."

oOo

She was a tinsel-free oasis in an ocean of festive sparkles and her friends and work colleagues had long since given up on trying to persuade her to join in with the seasonal spirit. Astrid Hofferson hated Christmas and that was that.

Of course, it hadn't always been thus: for many years, she had been as excited as every other child at the prospect of time off, spent with her loving family and the generous gifts they gave their only child. Her friends had come over or she had visited them and it had always been a time filled with people, laughter and love. But as she grew up, things had changed. Some friends had gone or moved away and her Uncle's death had been a blow, killed on shift as a detective by a gang running guns and drugs. But she had forged on, determinedly enjoying the season until her parents' death, their car hit by a drunk driver who had been enjoying too much seasonal cheer. The drunken man had walked away: her parents had died on impact.

That had broken her attachment to the season, trying to organise their funeral while everyone else was planning their family gathering. So she had thrown away the tree and packed up the decorations that her mother had loved, storing them in the furthest corner of the loft simply because she couldn't bring herself to throw them away either. But that Christmas had been spent with pizza and bourbon, a tradition she had kept to this day, spurning invitations from friends. Sometimes she went away and ignored the season but this year she was at home and thoroughly grumpy.

"You know you're gonna get lines from frowning that hard?" Heather asked her. Astrid was blonde with blue eyes while Heather's hair was raven dark and her eyes green but they acted often like sisters rather than best friends and both braided their hair over their left shoulders, something they had done since they were at High School together. _Sisters forever._ Astrid flicked her friend an exasperated look.

"If people would stop wasting time chattering about the holidays and got on with their work, we would all be finished sooner," she pointed out grumpily.

"Oh, c'mon-they're just excited…" Heather pointed out gently.

"They can be excited on their own time-during their break," she snapped back, typing furiously. "These orders need getting out before Christmas." Sighing, Heather sat back in her seat and nodded, knowing it was pointless to say any more. Astrid was right, of course and though she was grumpy, she never stopped the other workers in the office decorating their desks or covering the place with tinsel and cards-provided they didn't try to touch her personal space. Astrid was in black because it was the anniversary of her parents' death so honestly, Heather could appreciate her reluctance to join in the excited talk about the season, Especially since this year, she didn't even have the boyfriend who had helped her through the last three years. Their break-up had only happened a couple of weeks earlier and the raven-haired girl guessed it wouldn't improve Astrid's option of Christmastime either.

When the day finally ended at 5.30, the office staff all excitedly grabbed their hats, coats and scarfs and stuffed their cards and presents into their bags before they prepared to leave but Heather paused by Astrid's desk.

"You coming, Astrid?" she asked, her voice concerned. Sighing, Astrid looked up. The whole office were going to 'the Meade Hall', the best cocktail bar in Berk and honestly, she couldn't imagine anything worse…but Heather had begged her to come out for one drink and she had agreed, because her friend would be away for the holidays, spending the time with her older brother in Berserk.

"Okay-one drink," she conceded and switched off her computer. "Really, it's a complete load of fuss over nothing…"

oOo

It was considerably later when Astrid walked through the streets of Berk, heading back for her apartment building. Of course, no one recommended walking through downtown Berk, especially in the freezing winter, but taxis were impossible to find on a party night so close to the holiday so Astrid had struck out, walking briskly and grateful she had brought her boots. She had lasted two cocktails before the inherent cheerfulness of the outing had raised her hackles beyond tolerating. The bar had been infested by people in Santa hats which had been enough to annoy her but the looped tape of Christmas songs had finished her off and she had waved goodbye to Heather and taken her leave alone.

It was snowing which was another annoyance of itself and she slung her bag across her body and increased her pace, speeding up the Plaza and north towards her home. Eyes fixed ahead, she had already turned off the Plaza when she heard the noises and her head snapped round, her fists balling in her mittens. The voices were coming from an alley to her right and she sped up again, ready to break into a run in case some drunk or mugger tried to catch her. But then she heard the groan…and a yelp.

Curiosity got the best of her and she stopped, listening hard. There were a couple of low voices, talking and the tone was menacing. Then there was another voice, rough but slightly nasal, cut short by the thud of a punch. And then there was a small bark. And a yelp.

Spinning on her heel, Astrid marched in the direction of the voices, her hand fishing out her pepper spray. The alley was narrow and gloomy, shrouded in shadows and lurking between the butchers and the motorbike repair shop. As she advanced, her eyes began to adjust and she saw three shapes crowded around one more, cornered against the wall.

"Ain'tcher go nowhere ter go?" a voice growled, as the owner shoved the fourth man back against the wall, He stumbled.

"Obviously not," he replied, sarcasm oozing from his words. "You need to look up what _homeless_ means?"

"We don't like your kind round 'ere," a second man sneered.

"Why? Way I see it, I'm probably improving the tone of the neighbourhood…" the victim said. He was punched and he doubled up, slamming back against the wall. A dog bounded forward and avoided the third man who kicked at it. There was a yell as the mutt got a bite in of his own.

"That thing bit me!" the man protested.

"Attaboy!" the homeless man commented in a groan, an arm still wrapped over his battered middle. The first man kicked him again, this time catching a leg which collapsed under him, dropping him to his knees.

"Kill it!" the first man growled and the bitten man nodded, reaching out and pulling out a knife.

"Hey! What are you doing!" Astrid yelled, fumbling and finding a small but powerful LED torch she kept in her pocket, clicking it on. The brilliant light blinded them as they flinched back. "POLICE!" she added and it had the effect she hoped. The men turned and ran, heads down and sprinting away as she turned her attention to the man on the ground. He was curled up, a hand resting hard against his left knee. Pausing, she approached and he he cringed back.

"I…" he managed but she crouched down.

"I don't mean any harm," she told him briskly. "Do you want me to call someone?" Grimacing, he whistled and the black dog limped towards him.

"He's the only one who actually cares," he admitted gruffly. "If I had anyone else, I would be with them."

"Oh." It was the only thing she could think of to say and as she said it, she felt stupid. "Do you need a hospital?"

"They don't take dogs," he said, his other arm around the very skinny mutt. "I couldn't leave him."

"Are there no shelters open?" she tried.

"I found out today none of them take dogs either," he murmured and sighed. "I'll be fine-thanks, Miss."

"Astrid," she told him gently. "My name is Astrid." He started and peered at her, before he levered himself to his feet.

"Th-thanks…" he mumbled, his breath coming in clouds. "S-sorry…" He was leaning against the wall, his weight almost entirely through his right leg and she frowned.

"Did they hurt you?" she asked worriedly and he gave a humourless laugh.

"Nothing I haven't had a dozen times over," he admitted, coughing and almost doubling up. He was shaking with the effort afterwards. Astrid glanced around: the alley was dark and very cold, there was snow on the ground and large treacherous patch of ice under the leaky down pipe: it was hardly a place to stay.

"Have you had any food?" she asked, suddenly and acutely sober. The forecast was for ferociously low temperatures tonight and this man looked like he was going to freeze. He limped forward and a stray ray of light lit his pale face, framed by a scruffy reddish beard and dark auburn hair poking from under a battered baseball cap. Bright emerald eyes met hers and she gasped: they seemed incredibly familiar. "Do I know you?" she added and he shook his head.

"Um...I doubt it, Miss," he said warily. "Everyone I cared for died or left years ago..." He was clearly fighting not to cough and she felt an unfamiliar concern.

"Look, you can't stay out here," she said briskly and he stared at her, his gaze unfathomable.

"Not much choice with that, Miss," he coughed, another bout wracking him wretchedly. "No one will take Toothless and I can't leave him to freeze." It was a simple statement that unexpectedly brought tears to her eyes. To be so desperate and alone that you would choose death over leaving your only friend...

"You can stay with me!" she said suddenly, staring at the hunched and ragged shape. Eyes widening in astonishment, he shook his head automatically.

"You don't want me," he said in a shamed voice. "I'm worth nothing..." Biting her lip against the stubbornness, she looked at the cute dog, his pricked ears and big green eyes adorable.

"Then do it for Toothless," she said seductively. "You don't want him to freeze, do you?" He gave another humourless laugh.

"Low blow," he rasped, coughing again, glancing down at his companion. "What do ya think, bud? Shall we let this nice lady save us from freezing?" The dog gave a small yip.

"I'll take that as a yes," Astrid said determinedly and stepped forward, grasping his arm. He yelled but she ruthlessly shoved his sleeves up and peered at his arms. "No track marks."

"I'm not a junkie," he said in an offended voice and then he coughed again, gently pulling his arm free and dragging his sleeves down again. "But I guess I can't blame you. As long as you're not a psychopath who picks up homeless guys and locks them in her attic?" She found herself smiling at the sass and shook her head.

"You're safe with me," she promised as he began to limp alongside her, bending to grab a small rucksack and ragged blanket. "It's not far." He smiled and a flutter of recognition warmed her chest.

"I really am very grateful," he admitted as they made their slow way along the street. When he stood up straight, he topped her by half a head, though he was obviously thin and limped hard. The dog walked obediently alongside his master, his eyes fixed adoringly on the man's face and Astrid found herself smiling at the monologue he kept up to the mutt.

He struggled with the steps up to her apartment building, gripping the rail and half-hopping up, his face locked in a grimace of pain. He firmly refused any help, his expression stubborn and Astrid realised that he was already feeling incredibly awkward at accepting her help and she didn't want him to feel any worse. Her second floor apartment was warm and as she hung her coat and hat on the pegs, she saw him warily set his pack down and strip off his boot, coat, hat and hoodie, while the dog sat obediently by his belongings.

He looked much more vulnerable as he faced her, dressed only in his falling apart jeans, grubby sweater and sock and he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. She peered at him and gestured to the bathroom.

"You may want to freshen up," she said. "And I can wash your clothes, if you want?" His eyes widened in shock and then he managed a grateful smile.

"That would be a blessing," he admitted as she showed him how the shower worked, lent him shower gel and shampoo and laid out a couple of fluffy towels before he fished out his toothbrush and razor and nodded his thanks. A few moment later, the door opened a crack and his clothes were pushed out before it closed again.

Astrid grabbed them and picked up all his other discarded items, tossing them into the washing machine with extra powder and fabric conditioner and then she started a long cycle. The shower hadn't started yet so she walked to the door.

"Are you alright?" she called and there was a pause.

"Yeah, thanks," a shaky voice said. He sounded younger and more lost and she rested a hand against the wood gently. "I-I really am very grateful..." She sighed.

"What do I call you?" she asked. "I mean, I've given you my name..."

There was an audible sigh.

"Hiccup," he said.

oOo

In the shower room, Hiccup sat on the toilet and slowly unstrapped his prosthetic, laying it carefully aside. As expected, his stump was sore and there was a deep abrasion that was blistered and raw. He could still recall everything they had told him about caring for the remains of his left leg-what was left after the explosion-but he had been afforded scant chance to do what he should. The sudden switch in his fortunes had him completely thrown, unnerved at being inside someone's home…though he had been in no shape to refuse…and he wasn't insane either. He knew he was probably going to die in that cold. The bossy blonde had been his only salvation.

But every time his luck seemed to turn, something catastrophic usually derailed his life once more and he was fully expecting things to go south and fast. Maybe his sarcastic tongue would insult his hostess or she would realise what a useless article he was and throw him out. Maybe she would refuse to keep Toothless in the house and end up kicking him out. Maybe she would be repelled by the fact that he was incomplete.

But the shelters weren't an option. Without Toothless there to protect him, he couldn't face them again.

He shuddered and covered his face with his hands, trying to calm his shuddering breathing as memories swirled around him and he forced his head up. His body ached and he could feel the bruises from the assault still forming but he couldn't recall the last time he had the chance to be clean and he found himself longing for the opportunity. Levering himself up, he hopped to the shower, flipped it on and stood under the warm water, allowing it to caress his aching body. Of course, he was nothing to look at, a skinny one-legged reject with messy hair, a really bad beard and a stupid name.

 _Why had he told her his name?_ She was beautiful, brave and kind. Certainly stubborn, for she wouldn't take no for an answer and had insisted he come in out of the cold. Of course, it was that time of year, though what he had briefly observed of her apartment seemed to be devoid of any seasonal cheer. And she had the same name as his middle school crush, though they had lost contact when he changed schools in Freshman Year at High School when his Dad had moved out of Berk temporarily. And then, of course, he had screwed up his life and fate had done the rest, paying him back and ensuring his only reward was the streets.

He scrubbed away at his hair and body fiercely, trying to stop himself thinking. It was never good when he did so, never positive when he started to recall everything that had happened to him. It was times like that he really craved a drink...until he recalled what had happened when he had been drunken and defenceless and that just ended with him wanting to go curl up and vanish forever.

Finally clean, he flipped the water off and hopped out, sitting down to dry himself before eyeing the razor. Truth be told, he hated having a beard because it was a painful reminder of his Father's magnificent specimen, full and huge and braided, worthy of a Viking chieftain-while his was disappointing, just like everything else about him. So he calmly and methodically shaved it off, ensuring his hair was combed out and his teeth cleaned for good measure. He normally tried to maintain some kind of personal hygiene when visited the public toilets but it was so cold now he couldn't contemplate taking off any clothes even for a few minutes so cleanliness had gone by the wayside. Gritting his teeth, he strapped his prosthetic back on, wound a towel around his shape and was about to emerge when there was another knock at the door.

"I've found some clothes," Astrid said through the wood. "I hope they'll do while yours are being washed..." The door opened a crack and he found himself accepting a pair of grey sweat pants, white T-shirt that was way too large for his lean frame and some training socks. All were clean and smelled fresh and for a long time, he savoured the flowery scent before he dragged them on, self-consciously finger-combing his messy hair before he limped out.

Toothless barked in excitement and immediately jumped up, almost knocking him over and the welcome made him grin broadly.

"Yeah-it's me, bud!" he chuckled, leaning forward to pet the excited mutt. "I'm back-and smelling way better than I did!"

"Hmm-you scrub up well," Astrid said from the kitchen area. The apartment was open plan with kitchen-diner-living area entered through the small cloakroom with the bathroom and beyond it, the bedroom the only separate areas. Hiccup realised that there were the smells of food cooking and he salivated with sudden hunger that overcame his severe self-consciousness so he cautiously limped forward.

"That was the kindest thing anyone has done for me for years," he admitted. "Thanks...though should I worry about the lender of these clothes coming back and kicking me out?" Her brows dipped in a scowl that seemed familiar.

"We ended it two weeks ago," she said tonelessly. "He said I was emotionally closed off but he was hacked off because I found out he was sleeping with the neighbour and called him for it. I've lost enough without being betrayed by the person I thought loved me."

There was a stony silence and he blushed.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "That must have been difficult. I guess that explains why...no Christmas..." She stiffened.

"What is it about this place that you can be considered abnormal because you don't swathe your life in tinsel for a month?" she growled. "My parents were killed by a drunk driver on this day when I was nineteen and since then...what have I got to celebrate? You tell me?" He backed up a pace and grimaced as his leg almost gave way.

"Hey-I got nothing either," he protested. "I mean, I joined the army against my father's wishes, was disowned, got blown up, lost a leg, spent three weeks in a coma, medically discharged and returned home to find my Dad had died, left everything to the Historical Preservation Society and find myself homeless, unemployed and no way of finding any of my friends. And no one would hire me or give me a chance because I was homeless and crippled."

She stared at him.

"And now you're regretting ever bringing me home because I upset you over something I knew nothing about and...oh Thor, I'll get my things and go..."

She stared. There was something about his sudden desperate response that struck a chord, reminding her of her best friend from Middle School, of a skinny undersized boy with light auburn hair, brilliant green eyes and whip-smart sarcasm. Of the friend who had been desolate when he and his father had moved away to Meathead at the start of Freshman Year of High School and who had promised to keep in touch...and who had...but she hadn't. How long had it been before she stopped replying or didn't return or even take his calls, when friends and work and popularly became more important than the friend she made on the first day of Elementary School?

Her eyes focussed on the green eyes and she started.

"Hiccup?" she murmured in shock. "Hiccup Haddock? Is that you?"

He froze, emerald eyes wide as he stared at the woman opposite him. She was beautiful, her ocean blue eyes filled with shock and her liquid golden hair cascading in a braid over her left shoulder. But the voice was familiar...and how many Astrids could there be in Berk?

"A-Astrid Hofferson?" he gasped. She chewed her lip and nodded.

"Oh my Gods-it really is you," she gasped and came forward, staring at the skinny man in front of her, his shoulders a little broader than his slender build would otherwise suggest. Shaven, she could see the tiny scar under the right end of his lower lip, his jaw sharp and skin very pale but still marked with a few faded freckles among the bruises. But the emerald eyes were those of her long lost friend... And then she flung herself forward and hugged him.

For a second, he stiffened before he wrapped his arms tightly around her and buried his face in her shoulder, breathing in her fruity scent. She could feel him shaking and she just held him tight, tears streaming down her face.

"Astrid..." he mumbled into her neck, his breathing ragged. "I'm sorry."

She pulled away slightly to inspect his shamed face and gently lifted her hand to stroke his cheek. He flinched. "Hiccup? What's wrong?" she asked softly. He stared back into her face.

"I'm so sorry," he mumbled. "I mean...I wasn't good enough for you when I had all my limbs and was a straight A student...I must disgust you now..." And he tried to cringe away-but Astrid was faster, grasping his arms and pulling him to the couch.

"Why would you say that?" she asked in a distressed voice but he leaned forward, his hands clasped nervously. He shook his head.

"You don't even remember," he sighed. "When Dad moved to Meathead, we promised to stay in touch. That life wouldn't pull us apart. And I tried-I really did. But you got more and more distant. You rejected my calls, never responded to texts and never called back when I left messages with your parents. After six months without a single response, I knew it was done. My best friend had dropped me. And then Dad was just so disappointed that I hadn't grown, that I was nothing like the son he had imagined and hoped for. So my friend Thuggory and I joined up at the start of Senior Year and my Dad tried to forbid me. He threatened that if I walked out of the house, I would be disowned. But what else did I have? A disappointed father and my only friend leaving for the Army. I couldn't lose another friend so...I made my choice."

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, guilt surging through her. "I-I should have tried harder. But there was so much going on, so much practice and work and parties and I..." She swallowed. "I failed you." And her heart broke when he shook his head.

"No-it has to be my fault," he mumbled. "I mean, why would you ever have wanted to be friends with this...?" And then he doubled up coughing, each harsh spasm wracking his wasted frame...until a warm arm wrapped around him, a hand gently stroking his back until his breathing finally settled. She sighed as the timer pinged and she rose, fetching pizza and garlic bread from the oven. Deftly she served salad onto the plates along with half a pizza each and brought the whole thing to the coffee table by the couch.

"Eat," she told him firmly, handing him a plate. "You need something warm..." He grasped it gratefully.

"Salad," he commented dryly. "Wow-that will really warm me up!" She smiled and bit into the pizza.

"Try this," she suggested and he took a wary bite-then closed his eyes in ecstasy.

"This is so good," he sighed. "You can't be Astrid Hofferson! She almost poisoned both our parents with some lethal substance codenamed _Yaknog_ when we were fourteen..." She elbowed him lightly, licking cheese from her fingers.

"I had to learn to cook," she told him primly, grabbing a slice of cheesy garlic bread. "I mean, Mom and Dad weren't here and Eret said cooking was woman's work."

"The swine," he agreed. "He was the asshole who cheated on you then dumped you a couple of weeks before Christmas?" She nodded. "Oh, he definitely deserved Yaknog!" She almost choked on her pizza as she burst into laughter.

"I mean, he was an okay guy and he was a lot of fun. We spent every Christmas away which suited me fine...but he always behaved like I was meant to be his servant. When he dumped me I still had a load of washing in the drier which is why you have those clothes and..." She blinked. "Why did he have to betray me?"

Her eyes were shining and though he still had pizza left, he rested his plate down and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into a sideways hug.

"Because he's a slime and a muttonhead," he told her, feeling her lean against him. "I mean, you're brave and kind and stubborn and determined...which is probably why I'm not dead or dying in that alley now. You offered a warm place to stay to a complete stranger when you're very unhappy but you wouldn't take no for answer. And..." He sighed. "And I had a crush on you at school. Sorry-coming over all creepy now. But you are amazing then and you're clearly just as amazing now. So he's the fool and he deserves the regrets he'll have for the rest of his life!" His tone had turned hard and she buried her face in his neck.

"You grew up and went through some really horrible things and I never knew," she whispered. "I'm so sorry..." He glanced over and saw Toothless finishing off his pizza.

"Useless mutt," he grumbled. She opened her eyes and smirked, guessing what had happened.

"And he's already had a plate of steak," she added.

"What? You've had steak but you still steal my pizza? So much for man's best friend..." Somehow, Toothless managed to look so alarmed and cute that even Hiccup started to chuckle. "He does that every time," he explained. "Can't imagine why someone would throw such a cute puppy away but you were there in the trash-weren't you, bud?" Her eyes widened in shock and he leaned forward and tousled the dog's ears.

"What? But…why…?" she gabbled helplessly and he shrugged.

"I don't understand why anyone would dismiss someone as valueless but I guess that's happened to me as well," he managed, his tone cynical and she sighed which turned into a yawn.

"Get some rest," she said, rising and gathering the plates. As he stared after her, she ducked into a cupboard and brought out a spare pillow and a couple of blankets. Kindly, she handed them to him. "Will you be okay?" He looked around and patted the couch.

"A chance to sleep on a nice soft couch compared to the cold ground?" he asked her with a small smile. "Thank you, Astrid." She smiled as she headed into the bathroom to clean her teeth but when she emerged, she found him already curled up on the couch, snuggling the pillow with the blankets pulled up over him and Toothless curled hard against the couch. His emerald eyes were heavy, the green dulled by weariness but he smiled as the blonde glanced at him.

"Sleep well," she smiled, switching off the main light but leaving the side lamp on as she headed into her bedroom. There was a click as she locked the door and he sighed.

"G'night, Astrid," he mumbled as sleep claimed him.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yes, this is a multi-part (but not a very long) Christmas-themed story. Enjoy!**

 **...**

 **Two.**

The soft sounds raised her from sleep, whimpers and low wordless cries and for a moment, her mind struggled to work out what was happening-until she recalled her guest. The homeless man. _Hiccup._

"NO! Get away from me!" The cry was desperate and she leapt up, grabbing her pepper spray because the shout was so persuasive that she feared there really was an intruder in her apartment…but as she silently opened the door, she saw him sitting upright, his ashen face lit by the weak light from the side lamp, eyes dark and staring with fear. She leaned silently forwards, seeing him shaking, his breaths fast and desperate.

"Please…don't…"

The words broke her heart and she had no idea what he had suffered but whatever it had been, it must have been horrible. And then she heard a whine. Toothless had scrambled up to sit in front of the distressed man, resting his front paw on Hiccup's hand, whining. His ears were pricked and his green eyes were loyally fixed on his face as he shuddered and finally sagged.

"Th-thanks…bud…" he gasped as another bout of coughing wracked him. He ran a hand self-consciously through his hair and then reached out a shaking hand to rest on the dog's head. "Don't know what I'd do without you." He paused. "You're the only one who cares," he sighed as he lay down and arranged the blankets round his body and then patted beside him. The dog eagerly jumped up and lay alongside him, pressed against the trembling man. Astrid's eyes softened as she saw him drape an arm gently over the warm canine body and then slowly fall asleep.

Softly closing the door, Astrid rested back against the wood and chewed her lip thoughtfully. One thing was certain: some horrible things had happened to the boy who had been her friend. And she needed to find out so she could help him. She was already feeling some very uncomfortable guilt that her actions may have contributed to the choices he made…somehow, she had a second chance to be the friend she should have been.

"In the morning," she murmured to herself. "I'll ask in the morning."

oOo

When she emerged from her bedroom, jaded from fractured sleep as his nightmare rolled around and around in her mind, she found him still asleep. Yawning and walking quietly to the window, she peered outside to scan the snowy world. A foot of fresh snow had fallen overnight and her guest would not be alive if he had remained where he was. And there was no way he could go back out into the cold world any time soon-not that she wanted to let him anyway. How many times had she walked by the homeless men, huddled up and sometimes begging on the sidewalks…? Had she walked past and ignored Hiccup in her travels round Berk? Logic dictated _yes_ and that scourged shame through her.

Quietly, she walked to the kitchen and began brewing some coffee, then glanced in her fridge: she was light on meat and foods that would be suitable for a dog or a skinny guy who needed building up. She closed the door thoughtfully and retrieved a couple of mugs, pouring herself coffee and leaving the rest warming in the pot on the stove, her eyes trailing to the curled up shape. For a tall man, Hiccup certainly could curl up tightly and as she moved slightly, she could see him lying peacefully against Toothless, his arm gently draped over the dog. For a moment, an ear twitched and the dog cracked open a green eye, as if feeling her scrutiny, before his tail wagged twice and his eye closed again. She smiled.

"You don't need to worry," she murmured. "I just want to help your master."

"Glad to hear it," Hiccup murmured, his eyes still closed and she gasped. He opened his eyes and gave a small smile. "You learn to sleep very lightly if you sleep in hostels-or on the streets. You drop your guard and anything could happen."

"And did?" she asked casually, watching his shoulders tense. "Sorry-not my business…" He grimaced and a cough wracked him again. Slowly, he levered himself to a rocky sitting position.

"No, it's a reasonable question," he sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. "Yes, is the answer. I was attacked in a hostel and badly hurt. After that, I didn't feel safe there. The couple of utterly freezing nights I stayed in a shelter, I was awake all night, because I was too scared to sleep. When I found Toothless, I was able to relax a little because he looks out for me-but none of the shelters will take him." He grimaced. "Speaking of which, I ought to take him out to…you know…"

"It's still freezing out there-and snowing," she said urgently. "Look-you can wrap up in my jacket if you want to take him down…and I'll make breakfast while you do…" He stared at her. "Come on-you didn't think I'm letting you go anywhere in this weather? You-you're welcome to stay until the weather gets better…"

"What…about April?" he murmured sarcastically. There was a pause.

"Yes," she said firmly and his head snapped round to look at her. "Look-you need help and I'm happy to offer it. We were friends years ago and I'm willing to be your friend again, Hiccup. If-if you'll let me?" He stared at her in shock and then leaned forward to carefully strap his prosthetic onto his amputated leg. With a hiss he staggered to his feet, then stretched.

"Make sure you know what you're getting yourself in to before you make a commitment," he advised her. "Once you hear what happened to me, I doubt you'll want me to stay." She stared at him: she had thought he was back to being the man, the person she knew…but under his facade, he still seemed to think he wasn't worth anything. And that saddened her beyond words-because Hiccup her friend was a smart, witty, brave, inventive young man who would do anything for a friend. And somehow, she had forgotten that…but now, more than ever, she wanted that friend back.

"I may surprise you," she said stubbornly, silently vowing to keep him safe. He looked sadly back at her as he led the mutt to the door, pulling on his boot.

"People often surprise me-but never well," he told her as he headed outside.

oOo

It was only when he got outside, wrapped in an oversized jumper that Astrid had given him, presumably belonging to her former boyfriend, that he appreciated how cold it was-or how comfortable and warm he had been in the apartment. Toothless was happily walking down, his tail wagging wildly as his friend led him to the alley by the apartment building and he did what needed to be done. Hiccup felt his hands and face freezing, the cold like a slap on his bare face and as he stood out of the wind, he shivered, missing his beard possibly for the only time in his life.

 _Astrid Hofferson!_ How could he possibly wrap his brain around that conundrum? He had been in love with her since he was about ten and when he had moved away in Freshman Year, he had been devastated, sustained only by her sincere promise that she would keep in touch. And he had really tried, diligently texting and phoning her…but her replies had rapidly become shorter and terser until they had dried up completely. And, truth be told, that had broken his heart, shattering his boyish dreams of one day asking her to the Prom, of being her boyfriend, of a life together… He had told himself he had accepted it, that she could never be expected to wait and had moved on and he should as well-but that was never an option because he hadn't made many friends in Meathead, just new bullies.

Small, nerdy and clumsy had been as unpopular in his new school as the old and the fact he was an outsider from Berk had just made things worse. It had only been Thuggory who had shown kindness to the new student, finding a wary, sarcastic but generous young man who had forged an unlikely friendship with the handsome, popular son of the owner of Meathead's largest factory. As they had grown, they had become inseparable and Hiccup had helped Thug with his school work, ensuring he passed classes while Thug kept the bullies off his friend.

But then Thug had been persuaded to do his part and sign up, wanting the military life. And without anything else, Hiccup had promised to go with him. He worked at his godfather's garage in his spare time and had been hoping to become a mechanic or engineer but that was always a possibility later. What he hadn't expected was his father's vehement opposition, refusing to allow his son-who had finally hit his growth spurt-to join the Army. Stoick had served, had seen friends die and end up scarred in body and mind and he refused to allow his son to take the same risks. And while Hiccup now understood his father's qualms, in the ensuing argument, the words used had only strengthened Hiccup's determination.

 _You're not strong enough. Thor-you're clumsy and weak and you'll be killed in a week! See sense, boy-you going there will be a disaster! What on Midgard are you thinking of?_

To an inherently stubborn teenager, none of that had presented any cogent argument and Hiccup had yelled back that it was his choice and he would do it with or without his father's blessing. The threat at disownment-Stoick's stock response-fell on deaf ears and Hiccup had grabbed the bare minimum and had walked out.

He had never been home again. His father had refused to take any calls, had removed all his stuff-though Gobber Belcher, his godfather, had saved a few things. He had shipped out after Basic Training, knowing that he had nowhere to go when he got back-so he stayed with Thug. They had become inseparable, battle buddies who did everything together. Occasionally, he tried to get hold of his father but there was never any response but Thug had been there for him when he had been devastated that his father had cut his only child out of his life.

Until…that day in Kandahar…

He closed his eyes as he began to tremble. He usually avoided thinking about it but he had been so thrown by meeting Astrid that he had just slipped into recalling everything-because he had promised to tell her about his life. He didn't doubt she would throw him out after she heard his sorry tale. Then he felt a warm pressure against his leg and heard Toothless whine, dragging him back to the now.

"I'm okay, bud," he said gruffly, rubbing his hands to warm them up. "You done?" Toothless wagged his tail again. "Okay-I'll clean up and we can go up-before I freeze."

He was shivering and the cold was irritating his chest, causing him to cough and double up as he struggled for breath. He couldn't feel his hands or remaining foot when they came back to the door of the apartment building…but when he got back, the door was closed and locked and he found himself starting to hyperventilate as he rested his hands on the wood. Desperately, he hunted for the bell and found the little device-but there were no names and he stupidly hadn't noted the number of Astrid's apartment.

He found himself shaking and finally he stabbed the best guess button. A hostile male voice answered, the crotchety sound hateful.

"Hello?"

"Could-could you let me in please? I-I'm here to see Astrid…"

"On yer way! Or I'll have the cops take yer away! I can see yer through the window. Homeless scum!"

Hiccup jumped back as if burnt and stared up to see a mean old man glaring through the window just above the main entrance. The old man's eyes narrowed and he waved his fist at the skinny shape. Hiccup stared up as the old man slammed the window open and leaned out.

"Don't think I can't see yer, hanging around and trying ter scrounge off decent people-scum!" he yelled as Hiccup cringed back. Toothless glared up at the cruel old man and began to bark, defying the vicious tirade. "And I'll have yer mutt in the pound before yer can say 'worthless animal'!" The old man threatened. "In fact I'm calling the police now! Let's see what they think about you trying to break into an apartment building!"

"I-I'm not…" he managed, shivering. "I-I'm staying with Astrid…"

"Nonsense!" the old man yelled. "Yer a lying rat! Now git!" And he grabbed his phone and obviously dialled 9-1-1. "Police? We got some scabby homeless trying ter break inter me apartment building. Yes-it's Mr Archibald Mildew of Flat 4, Raven Point Apartments, Nadder Street. On yer way? Excellent!" Hiccup stared up in horror as the man stabbed a crooked finger at him. "That'll show yer! I'd run if I was yer…"

Eyes wide, Hiccup desperately stumbled back, another bout of coughing wracking him as he turned to the list of apartments, desperately trying to recall which one was Astrid's and pressing buttons at random.

"That ain't working!" Mildew yelled. "I can already see the squad car! Maybe they'll lock yer up in a nice warm cell for Christmas…" Panicking, Hiccup snapped his head round and saw the approaching cop car. Instincts took over, stumbling down the steps and skidding, before he turned and ran, limping on his prosthetic. Mildew hung out of the window, gesticulating wildly. "There he is! He's getting away!"

The cops got out of the car-stared up at the raging old man and saw the scruffy shape shambling away, skidding and stumbling on the snowy sidewalk.

"He were breaking in!" Mildew yelled and the cops frowned, then ran after him, swiftly bringing him down. Toothless barked wildly at he hit the snow-covered ground, snapping at the cops, one of whom kicked him away as the skinny auburn-haired man was dragged up from the snow, his arms pinned across his back and struggling wildly. There was a yelp and the mutt staggered back, limping hard. A second kick drew a much louder yelp and he almost collapsed. He was barking fiercely, though he remained out of kicking range. Hiccup stared in horror at his friend and then looked desperately back at the cops

"Let me go!" he shouted. "I wasn't doing anything wrong! Please…"

"Where do you live?" the first cop asked him gruffly and his eyes widened.

"I…I…" he stammered. The second cop looked over his huge blonde beard and gave a knowing nod.

"Homeless scum," he growled. "Well, it's your lucky day, sonny-we have a lovely warm cell you can stay in…for the night. And then tomorrow morning, we'll take you to the city edge and for a Christmas present, you can leave Berk and go and spread your mischief elsewhere…" Hiccup struggled fiercely. All his clothes, his possessions… _everything_ …was in Astrid's apartment. He would die of the cold if he was thrown out of Berk with nothing but what he was standing in.

"Please…" he begged. "I'm just visiting my friend…" The first cop snorted as he manhandled the struggling man towards the car.

"Your kind don't have friends," he growled.

"HEY! What are you doing?"

Planted on the sidewalk, swathed in a scarf and huge cardigan, was Astrid, her arms folded and eyes glittering with anger.

"Out the way, miss," the first cop said firmly. "We're just arresting this homeless person who was breaking into the apartment building…"

"No you're not," she told him angrily. "This man is my guest. He came out to let his dog do his business and he must have forgotten which apartment I'm in, the muttonhead. It's three, by the way…" Hiccup, hyperventilating and struggling, suddenly stared at her, his eyes wide with shock.

"But the old man said…" the first cop said, wilting a little under the ice-blue laser glare the ferocious blonde was directing at him. Astrid growled in her throat.

"You mean that vicious lying trouble-making old coot?" she snarled, stabbing an accusing finger at Mildew, who was hanging out of his window and shouting obscenities at her. "The man who has already been banned from calling 9-1-1 because he calls the cops about every perceived slight? Such as playing music too loudly at 3pm in the afternoon? Or maliciously carrying shopping up the stairs and making a noise? Or having friends round at Thanksgiving and having the door open literally three times to let said friends in? Or telling him to mind his own business when I found him rifling through my mail?"

"Yer vicious bitch? I'll 'ave yer out yet!" Mildew yelled down as the cops stared up at him and then at the furious blonde.

"You okay, Hiccup?" she asked the panicking man and he nodded dumbly, stopping struggling.

"Wait-you really do know him?" the second cop asked, his badge reading 'Officer Ack'. Astrid nodded briskly.

"He's an old school friend who's down on his luck and he's now staying with me…" she began.

"Dogs aren't allowed!" Mildew shouted.

"NEITHER ARE SHEEP! Astrid yelled back. "Or do you want to talk to the officers about that?"

The window slammed shut. Giving a satisfied snort, Astrid turned back to the cops, who immediately released Hiccup. The first officer-a man with a large dark beard named 'Officer H Hoark'-looked embarrassed.

"Um…I think there has been a misunderstanding," he mumbled. Deliberately, Astrid walked forward and grabbed Hiccup's hand, staring into his still wary emerald eyes.

"You okay?" she whispered and he nodded wordlessly. "Yes, there has been," she added more firmly. "I think you owe my friend an apology." The officers stared at her, scowls twisting their faces. It was clear neither had much sympathy for the homeless but both chose the better part of valour when faced with a furious Astrid Hofferson and mumbled insincere apologies before leaping in the car and driving away in search of something more fun to do. Astrid's grip tightened in his cold hand. "And we need to get you inside as well-your hand is freezing!"

"Um…thanks," Hiccup managed, still shaking and damp with snow. She stared at him.

"You're soaking," she pointed out and he glanced down at the sodden sweater.

"I seem to attract trouble,' he mumbled ashamedly, trying to untangle his hand but she held on tight. "Th-thanks…" He glanced round and whistled. Slowly, Toothless limped up, whimpering. There was a nasty mark on his hip and he was looking woebegone. Instantly, Hiccup pulled away and leaned forward to scoop the dog in his arms. "Toothless?"

"Let's get him inside," Astrid suggested, helping him up and unlocking the door. "And you as well, Mister Skinny. Once you're warm and dry and fed, we can see to Toothless."

Hiccup had obediently gone into the shower to warm himself up, once Toothless was ensconced on an old blanket on the couch. Astrid watched him kneel down, murmuring reassurance to the dog and hug him before taking care of his own needs and in that moment, she understood their relationship, summed up by one murmured phase:

 _You protect me and I protect you: that's how it works._

Emerging, damp and warmed up in another old brown tee-shirt of the departed Eret and his own ragged but now clean and pressed jeans, Hiccup crouched down again and checked on the dog. The leg was swelling and looked misaligned: it was definitely broken. He took a shuddering breath and glanced up.

"His leg is broken," he said quietly. Astrid stared and then nodded, heading for the door. He stiffened, realising this was it-but she returned in her coat and pulling on her hat and scarf.

"We'll need to get him to the vet's," she said and then paused, seeing him staring at her. "What?" He shrugged helplessly.

"He's not insured," he said quietly. "And he's like me…worthless…" Astrid stared at him and shook her head.

"Hiccup-neither you nor Toothless are worthless," she said quietly. "You've both been through tough times and neither of you are where you are except for ill fortune. Now let me help Toothless because he was protecting, you, right?" He nodded and frowned, then rose and went to his wretched pack, digging right to the bottom and bringing out a flat box. Unhesitatingly, he handed it to her.

"Please-take it," he said quietly. "It's all I have. Um…you can't sell it…it's against the law…but it's all I can give to you as thanks." She frowned and opened the box-and then her eyes widened.

Inside was a medal, a five-pointed golden star with adornments, suspended from a gold bar marked 'VALOR' and topped by an eagle. Hardly breathing and eyes wide, she consciously wiped her hand on her jeans and then lifted the medal, turning it to see the words: THE CONGRESS TO LT HICCUP H HADDOCK III. She lifted her eyes and looked at Hiccup, who was sitting passively, his hand absently stroking Toothless's head.

"Is this…?" she whispered and he nodded.

"Um…Medal of Honor," he said quickly. "It's all I have. It's yours…"

"I-I can't take this," she protested in shock but he gave a desperate shake of the head.

"Please…" he asked her softly. "I-I have to give you something in recompense for the kindness you have shown me…" She gently closed the box and carefully put it in the dresser, her eyes thoughtful.

"I will look after it for you," she told him. "As a friend. Now get your coat on-we're going to take Toothless to the vet."

Hiccup was unable to relax as they sat in the back of the taxi, driving through the snowy streets of Berk to the best vet Astrid could find open this close to Christmas. Unflinchingly, she had paid for the cab and led them in, accompanying Hiccup in with the dog. The vet had examined Toothless carefully and shook his head.

"He's starved, there are two breaks in the leg and he needs worming," he said. "Has he had his vaccinations?" Hiccup stared at him and then shook his head.

"Could never afford them," he mumbled. Astrid stood at his side and gently stroked the whining Toothless.

"What can you do to help him?" she asked. The vet frowned.

"Ideally, he will need an operation to reduce the fracture or he'll always have a limp," he said. "And he'll need worming, flea treatment, shots…" Astrid looked at the dog, who turned his big eyes on the girl. The cold, impersonal white of the surgery, smelling strongly of bleach, was a world away from the filthy alley she had found the pair but it was what they needed. She nodded.

"Do it all," she said firmly. "Shots, treatments-and fix the leg…" Hiccup stared at her. "Put my address since they're living with me. I'm paying the bill. He deserves this." The vet nodded and looked at Hiccup who nodded dumbly. He signed the papers and then turned to Astrid.

"Are you sure?" he asked and she smiled. Compared to last Christmas-a boozy affair with Eret in the Caribbean that she couldn't recall but had left her feeling empty-this was much more interesting and much more human. She had cut herself off from everything to numb her pain but somehow, doing what she could for her friend and his beloved pet made the season less…irritating. And she felt more alive than she had since that fateful knock on the door, six years earlier.

"I've never been more sure in my life," she told him as they turned to the waiting room. Astrid paused and then she looked at Hiccup. "You'll be waiting for him?" she checked and he nodded.

"He's my friend," he confirmed. "Nowhere else I should be." She sat by him and took his hand, squeezing it comfortingly.

"I've got some shopping to do," she told him gently. "Will you be okay?" He nodded.

"As long as he's here, I have to know," he said and smiled. "And Astrid? Thanks." She smiled and nodded.

"I'll see you later," she reminded him. "You owe me a story, Hiccup." He shrugged.

"I promised-and I always keep my promises," he reminded her, smiling wanly. She rose.

"I'll see you later," she said and headed for the door, seeing him offer a small smile, then return to his contemplation. She had a short time-and a lot of shopping to do…


	3. Chapter 3

**Three.**

Time was almost endless as he sat in the waiting room of the Veterinarian's and waited for news of Toothless. He had an old watch on his right wrist, a battered army specimen that ticked through the aeons long minutes as he avoided thinking what might happen if the dog didn't survive the anaesthetic. He couldn't imagine a world without his best friend in it…and without Toothless, he doubted he would find the will to go on any more. He knew he was a mess, never having accessed treatment for the traumas he suffered and Toothless was the one person who could calm him.

He started as the nurse entered the room and walked up to him. He was on his feet in seconds, his face concerned.

"Is he okay?" he asked, hardly daring to breathe and she nodded.

"His leg has been pinned and is properly aligned," she revealed. "He's come through well. He's had his shots, been wormed and we've washed him and given him flea and tick treatments. He has antibiotics and anti-inflammatories to take and will need feeding up and resting…" Hiccup nodded in relief.

"Thank you," he said urgently, grasping her hand. "Can I see him?" She nodded.

"He's drowsy," she admitted as she led the man through to the recovery area and the limp black shape lying on a blanket in a large cage. His back leg was shaved and bandaged and he was breathing lightly only. Hiccup dropped to his knees by the cage and splayed his hands against the mesh, breathing hard.

"Toothless?" he murmured. "Oh bud…please be okay…" There was the slightest of whines and the tail managed a single wag. Shuddering with relief, Hiccup leaned his head against the mesh and sat back on his heels. "It's okay, bud-I'm here. I'm not leaving you…"

He had been sitting with the dog for maybe half an hour when Astrid returned, offering apologies and leaning forward to check on the patient. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkling: for the briefest of moments, Hiccup felt his pulse accelerate at the arresting sight and he found himself smiling back.

"Doing well," he said cheerfully. "They've fixed his leg, given him his shots and even a bath!" The blonde smiled.

"I thought he looked fluffier than usual," she commented and crouched by him. "Are you okay?" He nodded, feeling the cough tickle his throat again. He had been coughing steadily all afternoon but he didn't want to appear to be so horrendously needy that he had to be looked after as well.

"Relieved," he croaked. "I mean I can never repay you for this…" She looked at him thoughtfully and nodded.

"In fact you can," she told him thoughtfully. "You can keep me company over the holidays and stop me drowning my life in bourbon and misery when I should be grateful for everything I have." He quirked a smile.

"Can't pretend to have much experience in the whole being grateful for being alive bit, but I can try," he admitted. "And Astrid…I am so grateful. Thank you for everything you did for Toothless." She smiled.

"Let's take him home," she smiled.

The taxi ride back was less tense, though it had gotten dark and the temperature was dropping. They had taken a Viking Cars cab because their motto was _'we never let the weather stop us, it's an occupational hazard'_. The last part had been something his father had said and Hiccup felt a pang of pain shoot through his chest: he tried not to think about Stoick because it was just too painful. He had never been given the chance to make his peace and he had no idea if Gobber was dead or alive: he certainly wasn't in Berk or Meathead and Hiccup had never tracked him down. He sighed and hugged Toothless tighter as they pulled up outside the apartment block.

Glancing up, Hiccup noted that the drapes were closed over Mildew's window so at least he wouldn't have to brave the mean old man's vicious tongue as they arrived back but the cold was brutal as they emerged, paid the cab and then rapidly made it back into the building. But Hiccup could only relax when the door locked behind them and they were safe inside Astrid's apartment. And then he gaped.

There was a large and brand new dog bed set up just by the couch with a puppy pad by the wall. Two new bowls were waiting with fresh water already out and a food bowl awaiting Toothless's return. The fruit bowl on the counter was full with fresh citrus fruit and the apartment smelled of roasting meat. The dining table was laid with two places and a candle, with glasses and a bottle of wine waiting. He blinked then stared at her, open mouthed…

"I-I have no words," he mumbled. "Just…thanks…"

"Hiccup…Toothless means the world to you," she said, taking her coat off and stowing her hat and scarf on the shelf. "You were willing to give me your only possession as payment for treating him…that possession being the highest award for bravery this country gives! Thor…I really want to know what has happened since I was so stupid I let being a popular girl become more important than keeping in touch with my best friend. Because somewhere in there, I think there is guilt that this happened…because if I had returned those calls…maybe it wouldn't…" He paused and then quietly carried Toothless to his new bed and tenderly laid him down. The dog looked adoringly at him and the thump of his tail wagging was loud in the quiet as he rose and turned to Astrid, slowly walking back to face her.

And then he hugged her, his arms wrapping around and pulling her into a warm and tender embrace.

"I made my own decisions, Astrid," he sighed. "And maybe they would have been different…and maybe not. Maybe I would have had someone to come home to when I found I had nothing…but I am alive. And you have been more than kind, more than generous to someone you haven't seen for over ten years."

She buried her face in his neck and he felt dampness against his skin.

"If I had not been so stupid, I wouldn't have been so alone either," she whispered, her guilt swirling around her. "When my parents died, I would have had my friend and you could always get through to me, no matter what. It's my fault."

His arms tightened around her and nuzzled into her hair gently.

"Astrid, I should have carried on trying but I gave up as well," he reminded her. "I-I was probably going to die in that alley, either of being stabbed or simply freezing to death. And you saved me. No matter what happened in the past, you were there when I needed you. And I thank you for that. I can never repay you for that."

She sniffed and pulled her head up, wiping tears from her face.

"You can," she said gently. "Stay." His face fell and the light left his eyes, replaced again by his self-loathing.

"Wait until you hear about what happened, about who I became," he advised her slowly. She smiled.

"After dinner," she told him and reluctantly pulled away from his warm embrace, where she had felt safe and protected. She flashed him a small smile and then headed to the oven, checking the chicken that was nicely roasted. She smiled and placed it on the hob, then fished out the potatoes and roasted vegetables. There was a pause as Hiccup walked up.

"Can I help?" he asked and she smiled gratefully, recalling that Eret considered doing anything in the kitchen beneath his dignity.

"If you could take some water to the table and the cranberry sauce, we'll be ready," she told him as she carved and served the chicken then decanted the vegetables into a dish and finished the gravy. Hiccup was crouching by Toothless, stroking his ears and the dog was giving a doggy grin. She smiled and dumped a pile of prime chicken into the new bowl and took it to the patient, then briefly brushed his shoulder. "Dinner's served," she told him.

Hiccup was very self conscious as he sat opposite Astrid, seeing her calmly serving roasted vegetables and dolloping bread sauce onto her food before handing the dish to him. His mouth was watering urgently, for he had never gotten breakfast, and he had to control himself from taking too much. Astrid's eyebrow arched as she watched him delicately serve himself.

"Eat as much as you want," she invited him. "I have plenty." He paused and then took another scoop of vegetables and an extra potato.

"Thanks," he said and watched as she served him gravy and bread sauce and he scooped cranberry sauce onto his meat before he noticed she was pouring the wine. "No!" he gasped and snatched his glass away. He shook his head. "No!" She blinked and stared at him. "I-I'm sorry…I don't drink."

"Really?"

He took a bite of his meat and sighed.

"I had a problem after I left the army,' he admitted, sipping his water and calling his scattered thoughts. "I used to roll in drunk every day. There's a lot of rot-gut you can buy for relatively little money which you can easily beg or earn. And it numbed the pain and dulled the memory." She stared at him and he managed a self-deprecating smile. "Yeah, I know it wasn't healthy in any way and certainly wasn't the way to deal with things…but it was actually a pretty effective way to _avoid_ dealing with things. I passed day after day, week after week in a haze, rolling into the shelter and dropping into a drunken sleep." And then he took another sip to calm himself. Astrid saw his hands were trembling. She reached over and rested a hand on his.

"Hiccup?" she said gently. He shook his head.

"I didn't care, as long as I was able to drink and numb the pain," he admitted. "By then, I had already lost Dad and everything and couldn't find anyone I knew…I had nothing. But one night, I was in a drunken sleep in the shelter, completely unsuspecting." He paused. "I was attacked. And I was drunken and vulnerable, completely unaware of anything around me. Three men attacked men, hurt me badly…" He chewed his lip, his eyes unfocussed. "And I could do nothing. I was drunk, pinned before I even knew what was happening, helpless."

Her hand tightened around his.

"Oh, Hiccup," she said sadly and he took a shuddering breath, lifting his shamed eyes to face her.

"I couldn't stay in a shelter after that so the streets was my only option," he said shakily. "And it was a load more dangerous. I tried to return once or twice…but I couldn't sleep. I sat awake all night, terrified at any sound, that I would be cornered and attacked. I-I couldn't do it. And I couldn't drink because it had made me vulnerable." He ran his hands through his shaggy hair, making it stick up in all directions. "So…thanks…but I just…don't…"

She sipped her wine and then pushed the glass aside, taking a sip of water.

"My first Christmas after my parents died…and that was less than a week after that horrible knock on the door…I spent the time with turkey pizza and two bottles of bourbon," she admitted. "My friends kept ringing and knocking the door and I ignored them. I pushed them away and tried to build a wall around my heart, to prevent it hurting any more. I became cold and unfriendly and half my friends vanished-but the closest, truest persisted and I thawed a little…enough for Eret to worm his way in and break my heart again."

She sighed.

"If you hadn't come into my life, if I hadn't come into that alley and walked on instead, I would be on that couch in a stupor, a bottle of bourbon by my side and pictures of my parents and probably Eret at my side. And if I lived or died…well, no one would know or really care either."

He stared at her in shock. She had been so decisive, so calm and in control when she had saved him and looked after both him and his dog…but underneath, she was damaged and teetering on the brink as well. His hand curled around hers and he returned the squeeze.

"I care," he found himself saying. "Astrid-you are an amazing woman. You survived and didn't fall apart when you lost your parents. You pushed on. Sure, you didn't handle it well-but who does? And though this time of year is really hard for you, you picked up some wretched homeless guy and his dog and took them into your home. And you've really gone above and beyond to help us both…" Azure eyes flicked up and a wan smile lifted her beautiful face.

"Actually…you've really helped me," she admitted softly, chewing her lip as she struggled to express herself. Hiccup recalled that Astrid was never the most comfortable or eloquent in expression her emotions but he found himself appreciating the efforts she was making on his behalf. "You've given me something to do, someone to care for and-and a connection with someone that has forced me to stop wallowing in my own misery and address other more important issues." His eyes widened and he opened his mouth but she shook her head. "Hiccup-my parents died six years ago. And I have just stopped, frozen everything in time to avoid moving on. But I actually have. I have a job and a life-such as it is-and a home away from where I lived with them. I have moved on…but emotionally, I was in the deep freeze. And maybe Eret was right in calling me emotionally distant and closed off…"

"Though that doesn't excuse cheating on you," he noted dryly. She gave a small chuckle.

"It forced me to admit the relationship was going nowhere," she admitted. "And when he dumped me, it really hurt, showing that I had cared for him…just not enough."

"Maybe it wasn't the right time…or he wasn't the right person for you," he suggested, taking another mouthful of his cooling food. She nodded and mirrored his action.

"I guess not," she commented and speared a potato. He watched as she very firmly sectioned it into very small pieces.

"I'm guessing that innocent potato is Eret?" he suggested and she nodded. bisecting one of the larger pieces. "Boy, I forgot. Note to self-don't get Astrid mad at you…" Her knife hit the plate with a loud clatter and he stared at what almost resembled rough mash. Both of them burst out laughing.

"Wish I had done that to him, misogynistic swine," she commented and then pushed her plate away. Hiccup had cleaned his and sat back with a satisfied sigh, hands resting lightly on his middle.

"That was really good," he told her. "Almost enough to completely dispel any thoughts of the word 'Yaknog'…"

"I'm never going to hear the last of that, am I?" she asked him. He smirked.

"Maybe when you're eighty?" he suggested playfully and paused, then rose and grabbed the plates, taking them back to the kitchen and starting to scrape the few scraps into the bin. She stared at him.

"What are you doing?' she asked him and he looked back at her, rinsing the plates under the tap before he began to fill the sink with warm water and detergent.

"Um…clearing the table and washing up?" he suggested quietly. "I mean, you cooked and did a great job so it's only fair I contribute something. And while it's really not much, it's the least I can do…" Her eyes widened and he thought he could see tears swimming in the beautiful blue gaze. Then she gave a shocked smile.

"No one…has _ever_ done that for me," she told him softly. He looked up, turning the water off.

"Really?" he asked and the blonde nodded, corking the wine and sipping her water.

"Yeah," she sighed as he began to wash up.

"Oh," was all he could find to say, feeling foolish. "Then you're well rid of him. Sorry…it may be none of my business but you deserve better. Really." She rose and brought the dish and glasses over, carefully storing the extra food in the fridge, which was full to bursting with food. But she wasn't looking mad…instead, she was thoughtful and she smiled as he worked. Hiccup carefully washed and dried the plates and pans and diligently put them away as Astrid brewed more coffee on the hob. Then she gestured to the furthest corner of the room-and a small Christmas tree sitting on a desk with plain white lights swathed around it and a pile of parcels underneath.

"Um…I'm pretty useless at decorating the tree," she said self-consciously. "It was Mom's thing. But…you were right. We should have a tree. Not a huge one because I don't have room but…one…at least…" He stared at then looked back at her, seeing her struggling with an act against everything she had done to avoid the pain of her parents's loss. Even now, he could recall that Astrid's Mom had loved Christmas and her home had been warm and decorated and welcoming, always smelling of cinnamon and baking around the festive period. It was a small step, a concession that somehow, he had given her the strength or impetus to take…

"No tinsel?" he teased her gently, seeing the small box of baubles. She scowled at him for a second and then shook her head.

"Not a tinsel kind of gal," she retorted and then smiled. "But I recall you were pretty good at art and had a great eye. And I think…you might be able to do some justice to the tree when I couldn't. You might be able to do what my Mom could have…" Her voice caught and she shook her head. "It's okay, sorry…" she began but he limped forward and peered into the box, assessing what he had to work with. Then he looked up, emerald eyes thoughtful.

"I'll need some help," he admitted. "Maybe…we could do this together?" She hesitantly walked forward and shrugged.

"Um…Mom kinda banned me from the tree because I was so impatient that I just put the balls on any old how," she admitted and then pouted as he grinned. "What?"

"Now that's the Astrid I remember," he admitted. "A hit 'em first and then think about it kind of gal…" She stared and opened her mouth-and then smiled.

"And there's the sarcastic boy I knew," she replied as he ghosted a small bow, the lopsided smile and sparkling emerald eyes warming her chest. Suddenly, she felt a lot less apprehensive about Christmas this year.

"Guilty," he admitted and grasped a red bauble. "Okay-tree decorating 101…there is no right or wrong way to do it except they must be approximately equal all the way round or the tree will fall over…" He deftly attached the bauble and grabbed another. "Of course, for a better aesthetic effect, you try to vary colour and size on the way round." He shifted as he hung bauble after bauble. "And after you've put a few, you stand back and check they look more or less even…"

"You've done this before," she accused him and he nodded.

"After Mom died, Dad and I decorated the tree on Snoggletog Eve," he admitted and then his face fell. "Well, we did until…" He breathed heavily and closed his eyes…but Astrid took the bauble from his hand and hung it on the tree.

"I think you owe me the story," she said, taking his hand and leading him back to the couch. Toothless's ears pricked up and he raised his head, his eyes still a little bleary. He whined and Hiccup sighed, slumped onto the couch.

"I'm good, bud," he said dully as Astrid sat by him, sipping her coffee and staring at him.

"No, you're not," she realised. "But I want to help you to be…" He flicked a glance over to her and gave a small humourless laugh.

"I may be beyond help," he admitted.

"If I'm not, you're not," she told him stubbornly, a hand sliding alongside his and her fingers lacing between his. "Try me, Hiccup." He tucked his good leg under him and sighed.

"I was seventeen when I decided to join up with Thuggory," he admitted. "He was my best-well, _only_ -friend at Meathead High. We were inseparable! And we had been talking about it for months and months, how it would work and what we would do. We checked all the regulations, signed up for our GEDs and went through all the selection processes. We both got in and received our departure dates for Basic Training. And it was then I told Dad. He…was furious. He thought I was too weak, to pathetic to cope and demanded I revoked my contract. But I told him that even if I had wanted to, I couldn't. I didn't see he was trying to protect me, only that he was ashamed of me, that he didn't believe I was good enough. I was determined to prove myself-to him and to myself. So I refused-and he told me if I left, not to ever come back. That he would disown me. He had been a soldier and I couldn't understand why he couldn't give me a chance, why he wanted to shame me. I grabbed what I needed and stormed out. I never saw him again."

She stared at him, hearing the hurt in his voice, at the disappointment that his decision had been misunderstood and rejected by his father. That his Dad hadn't wanted him to go. She knew there was a tension there-it had been obvious during the last couple of years before they moved-and it saddened her that Hiccup's Dad had been so hard on his only child. Ultimately, it had been his choice and she reminded herself that she didn't know both sides of the story…but the aftermath was sitting beside her, down one leg, a home and a father.

"I stayed with Thug and we went to Basic together," he continued. "We were battle buddies-meaning we ate, slept and partnered together in everything. He was tall, handsome, confident while I was a sarcastic auburn fishbone." She elbowed him gently and he managed a wan smile. "But our unit was a good one. We were top in every exercise and functioned as a smooth well-oiled machine. We were deployed several times to Afghanistan and though there were losses, Thug and I remained together. We were both promoted-he to Sergeant and I made Lieutenant, as you saw."

"How did you get the Medal?' she asked softly and he shrugged.

"Wrong time, wrong place," he admitted. "You know me, Astrid. If there was a way to get into trouble, I unerringly found it. So we were on patrol when we heard a rumour of an ambush of another patrol on the other side of the town. Our radios were in the fritz so I got the radio operator to keep trying while we went to intercept. We made it there just as the ambush hit. They were totally flanked so we laid down a suppressing fire to try to get them free. But as they tried to make a break for it, they were hit by an IED-an roadside bomb-and there were terrible casualties as well. So I led Thug in and we took out the insurgents. My patrol maintained point while we dragged the injured away and while Thug was evacuating the last couple of survivors, I saw another group on a house. I went after them solo, taking out the ten men of the ambush party. Up there, my radio finally worked so I called for extraction. There were four more waves of attack during the extraction and I made sure no one else was hurt. I covered the extraction and made my way back solo after everyone was out. Thug had taken charge of the evac and had been winged-left arm. I got back with a bullet hole in my right arm and a sprained ankle but nothing else."

"So you basically fought them off on your own?" she repeated and he nodded.

"They reckoned I killed about fifty enemy almost single-handed to protect the patrol and my own men," he said calmly, as if it was an everyday occurrence. "The senior officers recommended me for the Medal and I knew nothing about it until I received notification that I was to travel back to receive it. I tried to contact Dad so many times but he never responded. I sent him an invitation. I even tried to get hold go Gobber, my godfather, but he said he couldn't come because it would upset my Dad-though he congratulated me. So…I had no one there on the proudest day of my life."

"Oh Hiccup-I am sorry," she sighed. He shrugged.

"I made the choice," he admitted. "Though I had hoped…had hoped that Dad would be proud, would see my achievements as vindication of my success. That I wasn't too weak or clumsy or pathetic to be a soldier and protect our country. But of course, he was right. Because six months later…it ended."

He felt silent, his head bowed and his breathing ragged. His grip on her hand tightened and she leaned against him.

"Tell me," she said softly. Toothless whined and struggled to his feet, wobbly as a new puppy. Bravely, the mutt staggered to press against Hiccup's knee and he lifted the dog to lie across his lap before resting against Astrid again, grateful for her warmth.

"It was completely stupid," he said bitterly. "There was a bout of sickness in the camp, rampaging food poisoning from some dodgy meat or something. So we were light on staff for patrols…so Thug and I went out on a routine foot patrol away from our usual routes. We were always careful, always pleasant and never made any aggressive move towards the locals. But we were caught by an IED. Thug was killed outright and my leg…well the bottom part was just…gone. And as I landed, my head was ringing and I could feel blood on my head and my side where shrapnel had hit me. People were running at us, guns pointed at us. I fired, killing them. I was determined that I wouldn't give up, that I wouldn't just lie there and die. I think I got out a distress call but the last thing I remember was lying there, the emergency tourniquet around my leg, hugging my rifle and praying my Dad would be proud when he heard I died a hero."

Astrid found tears on her face and she blinked before she swiped them away. "I'm sorry," she said, seeing Toothless nuzzle against his middle. He sighed.

"I woke up three weeks later down a leg and a friend," he admitted. "Thug had been sent home and buried with all honours while I was still unconscious and I had been shipped back to the Military Hospital in Visithug. They tried to contact my next of kin…but got no response. So when I woke, I was alone, badly wounded and grieving. I tried as well-and even tried to call Gobber but there was no reply. So I did my rehab and was fitted with my prosthetic and then came the final blow: after an assessment of my injuries and my psychological trauma, they decided I was no longer fit for the Army. I was medically discharged and suddenly, my dream, my life was over. So I headed home, hoping my Dad or my godfather would at least open the door to me. And I was a mess, wracked by flashbacks to that final mission, seeing my best friend literally disintegrate in front of me…but I couldn't face that. I ran home. But there was no home."

She blinked for his tone had turned bleak and she felt his grip on her hand tightened. Toothless whined.

"Turns out, my Dad had died shortly after I was awarded the Medal," he said softly. "And like the stubborn, rock-headed man he was, he had refused to tell me, even when I was desperate to see him. He died of a stroke a week after I went back to Afghanistan and in accordance with his wishes, I wasn't informed. The House was sold and all his possessions were given to the Berk Historical Preservation Society. By the time I finally got home, the house was gone and there was nothing there. Gobber had moved away as well-though I have no idea where. And on top of everything else, it hurt horribly that my Dad had died hating me, ashamed of my choices and I was never given a chance to reconcile."

He have a deep sigh.

"So there was nothing in Meathead and it was very evident that I was seen as an outsider, with my Berk accent," he continued. "And their anti-vagrancy laws are very strict. I was effectively run out of town. So...I hitch-hiked and came home to Berk. I mean, I have no skills or training except as a soldier and when I couldn't give an address, no one would hire me…or give me any chance. And after rejection after rejection, it just got too much. I stopped trying and just crawled into a bottle, waiting for the word to dissolve…or possibly end. I didn't mind which. Turns out I did…and you know the rest."

Eyes shining at his hopeless tone, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, feeling him twist to hug her back.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "But I'm here now. You're here with me. And I will make sure you have a home and a place to stay and a chance-you and Toothless." She felt him burrow into the crook of her neck and dampness against her skin.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I know you must be disgusted…at what I've done…what I've become…" She sighed and her arms tightened around his shaking shape.

"What you've done was so brave, so determined," she murmured. "You're a hero, Hiccup. How many people have the Medal of Honor? And how you were treated was…horrible! There was no compassion or care for someone who has given almost everything for us all." She sighed. "You're safe now. I'm here for you…"

And then they both started as there was a thunderous knock on the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Apologies for not uploading sooner. The website wouldn't let me upload the document!**

 **...**

 **Four.**

Astrid started and her eyes focussed on the door in shock. She hadn't let anyone in through the front entrance to the building and so no one had any right to just bang on her door. Hiccup had gone rigid, his eyes wide in anxiety and she rose, her brow furrowed-just as she heard a key in the lock. The door opened to admit a tall, buff man maybe a couple of years older than Astrid with jet hair in a thick pony tail, caramel eyes and Maori tattoos on his prominent chin.

"Guess what, baby?" he said smugly. "I've decided to give you another chance!"

Astrid stared with a dropped jaw, completely speechless with shock.

"Eret? What the frick are you doing here?" she managed. He advanced towards her with a cocky smile.

"I told you, baby-I'm giving you another chance!" he told her smugly. "Haven't you got a kiss for your boyfriend?"

"How did you get in?" she demanded and he inclined his head.

"Somebody's touchy," he said slightly sneeringly. "Are you needy, baby? I know how you get when you aren't getting any…"

"Answer the damned question!" she demanded. He advanced and his eyes narrowed.

"Your neighbour let me in," he said. "He was happy when I said I have a surprise for you."

"Well you can take your surprise and stick it where the sun doesn't shine!" she snapped. The smile dropped from his face and his eyes glinted. He lunged forward and grabbed her wrist so ferociously her hand turned white.

"You don't get to speak to me like that, you frigid bitch!" he snarled. "You'll be grateful that someone wants you…" She ripped her hand away and backed away.

"Get out!" she hissed and Eret glared at her-and finally noticed the shocked guest. He gave a sneering laugh.

"I don't think so," he said, his tone turning menacing. "What's this, you hypocritical bitch? You make such a big thing of my diversion and here you are with some scrawny…"

"Get out!" she yelled. "I don't have to justify myself to you! You sleep with Mrs Larson while we were together-but you dumped me two weeks ago-so we're over! I can see whoever I want…and this is an old school friend…" Eret crossed his muscular arms and gave an unpleasant sneer to Hiccup.

"I don't think so!" he scoffed. "I know all your school friends…"

"No you don't!" she returned angrily. "I lost touch with half of them before I ever met you-and Hiccup here is a friend from High School. I ran into him and invited him over for Snoggletog Eve…" Eret looked around, seeing the tree, the dog bed and the table with two place settings.

"Don't lie to me, bitch!" he sneered. "Thor, you must think me stupid!" He grabbed her wrist and spun her to face the wary shape of Hiccup with the dog in his lap. "He's got one leg, stubble and he's wearing jeans that are held together by the stains and one of my tee-shirts. That is a homeless guy. Honestly, do you think I'm stupid?"

"I presume that's a trick question?" she snapped back. "He's an old school friend and he's staying with me over Snoggletog…" He lunged towards her as she wrenched free-and then he slapped her, the sound echoing round the silent flat.

Toothless growled, the sound rising in his throat as his hackles rose-and so did Hiccup. The man clambered to his feet, the anxiety in his emerald eyes replaced by pure rage. Astrid was staring at Eret in utter shock, her cheek already scarlet from the hit and breathing fast and jagged. In one movement, Hiccup shoved her behind him as Eret gave a nasty sneer.

"And now the one-legged cavalry arrives," he spat. "You make me sick, lounging around and begging and stealing while decent people work for a living! You can grab your mutt and your rags and get out of the door and leave my girlfriend alone!"

"I believe the lady said that she didn't want you here," Hiccup said in a tight voice. "So maybe you want to take your massive ego and your tiny brain and get out!"

"Maybe I'm gonna call the police and tell them I found you abusing my girlfriend!" Eret threatened cruelly. "Guess who they'll believe?"

"Me," Astrid growled, her cheek scarlet and eyes glittering with rage. "GET OUT!" Eret lunged at her again but Hiccup was quicker, grabbing his fist and snapping the hand back, his fingers digging hard into the pressure points. The effect was dramatic as the larger man dropped to his knees, whining in pain. Hiccup glared into his eyes.

"Leave," he growled. "Or I'll break your arm. I may not have a home but I have five years Army service. And cowards like you, who threaten and hit women make _me_ sick!" Eret grimaced and nodded.

"I'll go!" he protested pathetically and Hiccup stepped back as Eret instantly lunged for him, but the auburn-haired man dodged and grabbed the man's ponytail, tugging sharply and hauling him back-into a very hard punch. Eret slammed back his fists balling.

"I'll kill you," he breathed but as he lurched forward again, Hiccup grabbed his wrist and this time he forced the bigger man to his knees, pathetically begging not to have his wrist broken.

"Key," he growled. "You have no right to a key and no right to be here. If you don't go now, we'll have the police remove you. And press charges!" Eret fished the key out and handed it over-and Hiccup instantly tossed it to Astrid. "Is this the one?" She nodded. Without hesitating, Hiccup hauled Eret to the door, his wrist still bent back agonisingly and shoved him through, then slammed the door and slid the bolt across. And then he sagged and slid to the floor, breathing hard. Astrid stared at him in shock and walked forward.

"Are you okay?" she asked him and he managed a wry smile. "I should be asking you that," he admitted ruefully. "Sorry-I kind of lost my temper when I saw him hit you. I mean…you asked him to leave and he lied his way in, used a key he had no right to and struck you." He sighed. "Sorry."

She stared at him-then lunged forward and kissed him soundly. His eyes widened in shock and he stared, frozen as she pulled back, smiling.

"Hiccup-that was amazing," she told him. "No one has ever stood up for me like that before." He stared at her, his lips parted in shock.

"Um…you're Astrid Hofferson…I doubt anyone has ever needed to help you…" he admitted in a self-conscious voice, rubbing the back of his neck. She sat back on her heels, inspecting him.

"Probably true…but the fact you did anyway was…awesome…" she told him with a smile. "I'm guessing that fighty stuff was stuff you learned during training?" He looked up and smiled at her.

"Wow-yeah," he managed with a grin. "Lucky I learned some of that 'fighty stuff' during basic training of the Army!" She chuckled and lightly punched his shoulder. "Ow! Why would you _do_ that?" he protested lightly. She smirked.

"It's communication," she reminded him and he sighed, rubbing his shoulder.

"Couldn't you just learn sign language?" he asked and then got to his knees, his brows furrowing. "Are you okay?" He gestured very gently to her cheek and her fingers ghosted over the swollen flesh. She nodded.

"This is going to bruise," she sighed and he frowned.

"Has he…erm…before?" he asked with concern. There was the briefest of moments when her eyes flicked away in shame that told him everything. He shook his head. "You deserve so much better, Astrid." She gave a pained smile.

"Why?" she asked bitterly, sitting next to him and leaning back against the door. "I've cut myself off from lots of things through my grief and stupidity. I've lost touch with friends. I let you go because I was too diverted with being popular and living in the now when I should have been protecting relationships with those who cared, no matter where they were." He took her hand and gave a small smile.

"Astrid, you lost your way when your parents passed…but you're still the same brave and fierce woman and you should never settle for a slimy, lying, misogynistic abusive swine like Eret!" he said passionately. "And it's completely none of my business but you should only ever settle for someone who loves you. _Never_ less!" Her hand squeezed his and she sighed.

"How are you saying this when you have far less than I do?" she asked. "When you have had everything so much worse than I could ever endure? When I have been such a bad friend?" He smiled gently.

"Astrid-you were a bad friend for a brief period but we both had a second chance and when that happened, you've become the best," he told her softly. "Because you saved me and protected me and Toothless when we needed it most. And I know you will heal." He gestured to the little tree. "One day you will be perfect and whole and you will find the perfect man…" He paused and a small smile lifted the corner of his mouth. "Because I have to say, so far, your taste in men is horrible." She cast him a sideways glance and then shrugged.

"I'll take that under consideration," she said and nudged him. "And maybe try to do better?" Toothless gave a small bark and his tail wagged. She smiled. "I agree. Now lets get some coffee and try to relax. It's Christmas Eve…and we've had a busy day." She levered herself up to her feet and offered Hiccup her hand. "Will you, Lieutenant?" He allowed her to pull him to his feet.

"It would be my pleasure, Milady."

oOo

He slept again on the couch with Toothless at his side, though he still woke screaming and needed the mutt to bring him back to calmness before he could get some rest. This time, though, Astrid came to sit by him as well and the hug she gave helped. But they parted and went back to sleep separately.

But when morning dawned, Astrid's eyes opened and she stared at the ceiling, thinking hard about what she had heard the previous evening. And then she raised her hand to stroke her swollen cheek and recalled that moment when Hiccup had stepped up and the briefest flash of the man he had been, the soldier and hero, burst forth. He hadn't been cruel or unkind: he had just protected her. She smiled and sat up, reaching over and flipping open her laptop before typing in the words HICCUP H HADDOCK.

A little while later, she emerged, smiling at the lean shape curled by the black dog. Toothless had remained on the couch with Hiccup and the two were sleeping peacefully as she yawned and went for a shower after refilling the kettle. When she emerged, he was awake, petting Toothless and there was fresh coffee brewed. He looked up, emerald eyes warm with a smile.

"Merry Christmas!" he greeted her and she grinned back, still braiding her hair. She walked forward and offered him a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Hiccup!" she said happily. "Gods, I haven't said that to anyone for so long! You can shower while I make breakfast!" His eyes widened and he pointedly sniffed his tee-shirt.

"Oh Thor, I'm smelling the best I have in years and she wants me to shower again? Wow…bud-protect me from this obsessive woman!" he said comically as he levered himself to his feet. But he wasn't protesting as he headed obediently to the bathroom-to find a section of suitably male shower products and shaving foam waiting. He stared-then stuck his head round the door.

"Astrid? Um…" She smiled, cooking pancakes.

"You're welcome," she said smugly. "I guessed you wouldn't want to go round smelling just like me…"

"Wouldn't mind…" he commented and she laughed.

"There's the Hiccup sass!" she giggled. "I missed it." He dipped his head.

"Thank you," he sighed and closed the door again, speeding through a swift shower and emerging shaven with damp hair and smelling suitably non-fruity. She smiled at his slightly self-conscious expression as he walked forward and gratefully accepted the cup of steaming coffee she handed him. He took a sip and looked at Toothless-who was already scoffing away at a fresh serving of dog food in his bowl. Then he gestured to the room.

"Um…what do you normally do at Christmas?" he asked vaguely and her face briefly fell. She sipped her coffee to compose herself.

"Put a pizza in an oven, find a section of trashy films and drink myself senseless," she said quietly. "You?" He sighed.

"If I can cope I go to shelter for lunch and then try to find somewhere as warm as I can to sleep out," he admitted slowly. "Don't drink-obviously-and this is my first Christmas with Toothless so I'm not sure what to do with him. I would suggest a walk but…" He gestured to the bandages around the dog's splinted leg.

"That and the blizzard outside," she pointed out and he stared at the window.

"That as well," he admitted with a shrug. "Look-if you want me to go out or keep out of your way, I can always go sit in the bathroom or the hallway so you can have some privacy…" She walked over to him and punched his shoulder lightly.

"Muttonhead!" she scolded him. "Honestly, spending time with you is what I'm looking forward to! And rather than being alone and feeling no one cares and there is nothing to live for, suddenly I have someone here just when I need him most." There was a small yip. "And his dog!" she added with a smile.

"Well, if you put it like that…it would be my honour," he said genuinely.

It was strange and somehow felt right to have Hiccup there at breakfast, encouraging her to tell him about his life and what had happened to her in the intervening years and she had found herself opening up to him. Some of it was as he had expected-Prom, Homecoming Queen, graduating with honours-but some less so, such as the time at college studying the environment and then getting the job in the offices of the Berk Wool Trading Co. Somehow, he had never seen Astrid as an office worker, instead imagining her using her fire and her determination for something she really cared about…but as she spoke, he realised she had given up as well. She had finished her course because her parents had been so excited that she was pursuing something she really believed in but once that was done…nothing. She felt numb inside and when Heather had told her there was an opening in her office, she had taken her up on the offer and secured the position: she had never moved since.

After they had tidied up, Astrid had vanished into her bedroom and emerged holding a large squashy parcel wrapped in red foil wrapping paper with a huge golden bow on. She smiled as she handed it to the man and he blushed, looking embarrassed.

"Um…I can't take this," he had said in a suddenly dull voice. "It's far too much, Astrid. You've already done so much for me that I can never ever hope to repay you…" She held the parcel forward and her lips curved in the beautiful smile that sent a flutter through his chest.

"Hiccup-you're here," she told him gently. "I'm not alone and I have been given a chance to make up for my stupidity. And thank the man who punched Eret for me!" He rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously.

"I'm never going to live that down, am I?" he asked warily and she shook her head.

"Please…" she asked him and he eventually accepted the package and ripped the paper open. And then he stared, for he held a pair of jeans, a long-sleeved tee-shirt, a thick winter sweater, socks and underwear. He stared at her and she smiled. Then he dropped them and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her fiercely. Her arms closed instantly round him and she squeezed him with all her might.

"Thank you," he whispered and she felt dampness against her skin.

"You're welcome," she whispered. Swiping his eyes, he pulled away, then turned and held the trousers up against his legs: the length was right but the waist was probably a couple of inches too wide. He cocked an eyebrow.

"I guess I oughtta grow into them," he commented, then held up the tee-shirt, a bright leaf green that highlighted his eyes and he gave a broad grin. "Wow-I'll be the best-dressed hobo in the alley!"

"No you won't," she told him intensely. "You're not going out there again, Hiccup." Her eyes caught his and she stared fiercely. "Stay with me. You and Toothless are safe and warm here and I…I need to know you are safe. And that is my final present to you…a home, as long as you want one." He stared at her and gave a shocked laugh.

"You… _really_?" he gasped and his eyes shone. "This has to be a mistake or a dream because nothing like this could possibly happen to me and…oh Thor…" He turned to the dog and dropped to his knees. "Toothless? Would you like to stay somewhere warm permanently?" Ears pricked, the dog gave a canine smile, his tongue hanging from his mouth and tail wagging fiercely.

"I think that's a yes," Astrid smirked. "Now, I want you to try out those new clothes so you can celebrate with me." Looking up at her, he grabbed the clothes and slowly got to his feet, then headed for the bathroom.

"Your wish is my command," he said with a wink.

Once Astrid had put the traditional yak roast in the oven and set the pumpkin and potatoes cooking, they settled on the couch with Toothless draped over their laps, flicking through the channels on the TV and looking for a Christmas Movie. Astrid was hoping for _Miracle on 34th Street,_ which had been one of her mother's favourites while Hiccup was rooting for _National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation_ , admitting he loved the anarchic and irreverent take on a holiday which had never been standard for him. But in the end, they settled on _It's a Wonderful Life_ because both were drawn to the positive message at the end. And as the end titles rolled and Astrid snuggled into Hiccup, he was on the brink of feeling happy…

…when a buzz sounded and her head snapped up.

"Who would be at the door today of all days?" she murmured, pulling away from him and leaving him feeling strangely bereft. "I mean, they all know to stay away from me at this time of year…" She rose and went to the little intercom in the lobby by the door, pressing the button. "Hello?"

"Let me in, bestie-I'm freezing my ass off out here!"

"Heather? What in Midgard are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Berserk with Dagur!"

"Weather ruined that! I've been trapped in the airport at Visithug since yesterday and we made it back by train today and I knew you would be alone so…"

"Heather…"

"Let me in! It's absolute perishing out here!"

Astrid sent a helpless glance at Hiccup and he nodded, his hand dropping to stroke Toothless gently, though the blonde could see the tension in his shoulders and anxiety in his face. He may have managed baring his soul to someone he cared for and who had saved his life but someone new was a lot for him to deal with.

"Door's open-knock when you reach me," she said in a resigned voice and pressed the button. Then she turned back to the man, who was getting up and bundling his things away. He looked up defeatedly.

"Can I leave Toothless here?" he asked quietly. "I mean, he can't walk properly yet but I can get out of your way and you won't have enough food and…"

"Hiccup-stop!" she said, raising her hands. "Just… _stop_. No one is going anywhere. Heather has her own house and will go there after she visits. You are staying here so you are not going out in the cold. And neither is Toothless-right, boy?" The dog whined, seeing his master looking suddenly worried.

"But she's your friend and…"

"And you're my friend, muttonhead!" she told him, gripping his hands. "I said I wanted you to stay…and I realise that having her here is a big ask but I won't let her ask anything indiscreet. I promise. Just…try to relax. No one here is going to be cruel to you because I will punch them out if they are-deal?" He took a shuddering breath.

"Deal," he sighed as there was a knock at the door. Astrid cast him a warning look and he sat defeatedly by Toothless on the couch, his arm around the skinny black dog as Astrid straightened her top then opened the door.

"SURPRISE!" several voices yelled and Astrid gaped as Heather grinned at her-with their friends Raquel and Timothy Thorston (or Ruffnut and Tuffnut), Frederick 'Fishlegs' Ingerman and Simon 'Snotlout' Jorgensen standing behind her, carrying bottles and packages.

"Merry Christmas!" Heather added when Astrid didn't move and she stepped forward, catching Astrid's hand. "And I know you hate Christmas and want to just hide away but we really don't want to let that happen and for you to be alone on Christmas Day, of all days. It's been six years, Ast, and we all know you're hurting because Eret dumped you and…are you going to say anything?"

"I'm not alone," Astrid said in shock. Ruff grinned wildly.

"Of course not," she said briskly. "Because we're here now!" And she pushed past Astrid followed instantaneously by her brother. The twins did everything together so it was no surprise they barged in first. Heather followed, with Fishlegs and Snotlout paused at the threshold.

"Now you're shot of that Eret clown, you know I'm here for you, babe," he told her thoughtfully. "You never gave me a chance at High School but maybe I'm just what you need, hmm?" She blinked and her brows dipped.

"I very much doubt it," she said, following him into her suddenly-crowded apartment. The others were staring at the self-conscious shape on the couch.

"Okay-who's he?" Heather asked, her arms folded. Astrid scowled at them and pushed through to stand by the couch.

"Sorry?" she said firstly. "What the fuck business of yours is that?" They all started. "You barge in here without being invited and start asking who I choose to spend my Christmas with? Who the Helheim do you people think you are?"

There was a silence.

"We're your friends," Fishlegs said timidly.

"Friends who know I hate being ambushed wouldn't lie their way in here," she growled at him, her fists bunched. "Heather lied." The raven-haired girl stared at her in shock.

"It was a surprise," she protested. Quietly, Hiccup reached over and took her hand.

"It's okay," he said gently. "They meant well. Take it how it was meant-as an act of friendship." She stared at him and then nodded, her fists relaxing. Her hand squeezed his and she smiled slightly.

"Thanks…" she whispered. "Okay-I hope you like veg because the yak roast is only two person sized…"

"Hey-we brought a cooked ham and cranberry sauce!" Tuff told her, resting his package on the counter.

"Dauphinoise potato and red cabbage," Heather added, resting her package by Tuff's.

"Christmas pudding and brandy butter," Fishlegs continued.

"And lots of wine and beer," Snotlout finished, resting a huge bag on the counter. He winked. "You know me, babe-life and soul of the party!"

"Ugh!" Astrid commented. "Okay-this is Hiccup." She gestured to the auburn-haired man. There was silence. "Hiccup Haddock? Left in Freshman Year at High School?" Hiccup gave a humourless smile and rose to his feet.

"I think they can all recall who I am, Astrid," he said sarcastically. "I mean-Snotlout is my cousin as well as the bully responsible for making my life Hel a lot of the time. The twins pranked me and humiliated me for years and helped Snot. Fishlegs used to be my friend in Middle School but he dumped me when he started High School to be with the popular kids and Heather just ignored my entire existence-even when you and I were standing together in the Hallway. So yeah-they all know me." They all started at the tall, skinny man with thick, wild dark auburn hair, glittering emerald eyes and missing a leg. Not one of them would have recognised him.

"Hiccup?" Snotlout frowned. "I-I heard you were dead…"

"Awkward," Tuff commented, sitting on the couch and leaping up as Toothless growled at him. "Wow. Mean dog, man." Astrid scowled at him.

"He's not mean-he's an adorable puppy," she corrected him. "But you're not being friendly to his master to why shouldn't he protect his friend?" Heather sighed.

"Look-I think we got off on the wrong foot," she began and Astrid growled in her throat…but Hiccup gave a low chuckle.

"Did you really say that?" he asked her wryly and the girl reran her words and then blushed fiercely. "Astrid…I'm not offended. It's your call, of course…but this is part of moving on as well…" She stared at him.

"Are you okay?" she asked and he shrugged.

"I'm alive," he said. "And I heard a friend once tell me…hate is always foolish and love is always wise…and never, never fail to be kind. Your friends love you and have done a kind thing in coming to cheer your up. Accept the gesture and…enjoy yourself. Your friends have come round so have fun!" He smiled. "I'm here," he added quietly.

"Thank you," she mouthed and headed into the kitchen, unaware of the eyes trailing over Hiccup. The young man felt a chill run down his spine and steeled himself: he would put up with it because Astrid needed this. But as he caught Snotlout's scowl, he felt his shoulders hunch. Suddenly, he wasn't looking forward to lunch.

oOo

The meal went surprisingly well and the yak roast and ham with side dishes was plenty to ensure that everyone felt full by the end. Fishlegs's splendid pudding was duly cooked and set on fire with brandy before being served with more brandy butter. Stuck at the end of the table, Hiccup was quietly excluded from the conversation as the friends all chatted and shared in jokes and ridiculous stories…and he felt more and more awkward. It was almost a relief when Toothless needed to use his puppy pad and Hiccup volunteered to take the soiled pad down to the bins. Astrid handed him her key with a smile and watched him leave with a small smile.

Immediately, her friends leaned close.

"What the Helheim is he doing here, Ast?" Heather hissed. "I mean, he vanished ten years ago and he's here with you?" Astrid lifted her glass and rolled it in her hands. They had been at the table for hours, eating and drinking steadily and she was more than a little tipsy. Her eyes were unfocussed and her lips tilted in a smile.

"Found him," she slurred. "On my way home from the Bar, he was being beat up in an alley. Someone had a knife so I stopped them and brought him home." Snotlout scowled.

"But why?" he asked, not understanding. She smiled.

"Because it was the right thing to do," she told him simply. "He was in need and would have frozen so I gave him a warm and safe place to stay. I got Toothless to the vet and we've had a really nice couple of days…" Heather leaned forward, taking Astrid's hands in hers.

"Is he blackmailing you?" she asked and Astrid frowned and pulled her hands free.

"What? No!" she protested. "He's a nice guy and an old friend who is incredibly down on his luck. And I want to give him a chance after the holidays to get him back on his feet!"

"Foot," Ruff corrected her. "What happened to him anyway?"

"Blown up in Afghanistan," Astrid said carelessly. "Came back to no home or family or friends…"

"So why is it your responsibility?" Heather asked her suspiciously. "He left Berk in our Freshman Year."

"And he tried to keep in contact…but I was so busy I just kind of…didn't bother…" Astrid admitted in a slightly slurred voice. "And I just sort of forgot about him. Thor, I never even wondered what had happened to him…but while I didn't bother, he joined the army. He fought overseas. He even won the frickin' Medal of Honor!"

"Is that what he told you?" Tuff asked suspiciously. She glared at him and then stumbled to her feet, staggering towards the dresser and fishing out the flat box. She fumbled with the lid and then fished out the medal.

"There!" she said triumphantly. "Awarded to Lieutenant Hiccup H Haddock!" Fishlegs stared at her.

"So he's a veteran, down on his luck and homeless," he mused. "Is he exploiting you, Astrid? You are very vulnerable around this time of year, especially since Eret dumped you!"

The door opened and Hiccup returned, staring at the friends clustered around Astrid and almost shrinking back at the intensity of the glares directed in his direction.

"Have I interrupted anything?" he said.

 **A/N: The 'hate is always foolish' quote is of course from Doctor Who 'Twice Upon a Time' (2017).**


	5. Chapter 5

**Five.**

Astrid stumbled towards him and smiled, staggering and he automatically caught her, her arms wrapping enticingly around him.

"My friends were just trying to tell me that you're some homeless veteran type who's exploiting me and I'm just stupid," she slurred. He stared at her and then back at the friends.

"Oh," he said, feelings of shame and embarrassment mingling with anger in his chest. Not one of them could understand what he had been through, that he had been found by Astrid at his lowest ebb and that she had insisted he come home with her. The implication was insulting and while he was used to people assuming he was worthless because he didn't have a home, the fact they now assumed he was some kind of criminal was a hundred times worse. "You're not stupid, Astrid. You're a brave, fantastic, generous woman who insisted that some worthless loser come home and didn't freeze and I can never thank you enough. It's okay."

"No-it's not!" she protested. "You lost your Dad when you entered the Army and your friend was killed in front of you and you lost your leg and when you went home, your Dad was dead and everything was gone and no one will give you a chance and I won't have it…" He wrapped his arms around her.

"It's okay," he soothed her, more focussed on her. She was shaking her head.

"But I was a bad friend and you didn't even know where I was or you could have come to me when you returned home," she said tearfully. "And I-I wouldn't have been alone and with Eret when I could have been with you…" Hiccup's eyes widened and he could almost _hear_ the glares of Astrid's friends.

"Wh-what?" he gulped. Her arms tightened around him and her face burrowed into his neck.

"You have been nicer to me in two days than Eret was in three years," she said tearfully. "And you've had such a horrible time and you were still so kind to me and I always liked you when we were friends and when we lost touch I was so wrapped up in myself but you were so forgiving and…I'm sorry…" He gently rubbed her back and squeezed her.

"Astrid-I'm just grateful to be here," he said honestly. "You've done so much for Toothless and me. I doubt I can ever repay you...but I will find a way. I promise." She stared into his face and smiled.

"And-and you always keep your promises," she slurred. "Take me to bed, Hiccup!" He felt her leaning hard against him and wrapped his arm around to support her, hissing at the increase in pressure through his still sore stump. Calmly, he steered her into her bedroom, helping her off with her shoes and lifting her into the bed, fully clothed and pulling the sheets up over her. He leaned forward and gently ghosted a kiss onto her forehead.

"Sleep well, Astrid," he murmured softly and her lips stretched into a smile as he straightened up and quietly pulled the door closed…

…to face the friends, all glaring at him. The small smile on his face fell and he met their hostile glares, almost backing up a pace as they advanced towards him.

"Okay-you can drop the act now-no one here believes it!" Snotlout said angrily and the one-legged man stared at them in utter shock.

"Wh-what?" he gasped. "I-I don't know what…"

"You seriously expect us to believe that you just ran into Astrid 'by accident'?" Ruff accused him, making air quotes. Her grey eyes narrowed as she advanced on him. "You planned this whole thing!" He gaped.

"What? No!" he protested.

"Admit it!" Tuffnut added, glaring. "You're taking advantage of her. She's always vulnerable and sad this time of year! How long did you watch her before you made your move?" He stared and anger welled in his chest, his fists clenching.

"Look, I get you all generally despise homeless people…but how on Midgard do you get off with thinking I would exploit and hurt a woman like Astrid?" he replied sarcastically. "I'm homeless, not a criminal…"

"Pretty much the same, aren't they?" Snotlout sneered.

"Snot-I'm your cousin!" Hiccup snapped. "You should know what happened to me! Dad disowned me when I went into the army! But I went anyway. Surely he told you about how I was doing? I wrote to him every month in the hope one day he would be proud of me."

"Nope. He threw away all your letters, unopened. And when he died, he didn't even want you told."

"I fought for this country and almost died-and when I came back, all I wanted was to see my family-but my Dad was dead and my family in Berk wouldn't accept any calls. Strange that. Gobber has vanished. And no one will employ me or give me chance because I don't have an address-not because I don't want to work but because without an address, I apparently am not a real person. And Astrid found me and let me stay here and…"

Heather laughed scornfully.

"You think we're leaving you to stay here with her when she's drunk and vulnerable?" she scoffed and gestured-and in an instant, Snotlout and Fishlegs had grabbed his arms.

"Let me go!" he protested. "Astrid wants me to stay!"

"And we only have your word for that!" Heather told him accusingly.

"Wake her! Check! Please…" His tone was verging on desperate.

"She's dead to the world," Heather retorted. "And I'm not waking her when she's drunk. I want to talk to her when she's sober and make sure she's safe."

"Let me go!" Hiccup demanded, thrashing-but both Snotlout-who was stocky and muscular and Fishlegs who was tall and husky-were very strong and had his arms pinned. Tuff turned to his sister.

"Let us in when we get back," he asked her and she shrugged.

"Heather and me will tidy up and then we'll leave Ast to sleep the booze off," she replied.

"What about the dog?" Fishlegs asked, his eyes trailing on the growling shape of Toothless, who was struggling down from the couch. Tuff kicked at him and Hiccup cried out and fought more as the mutt scrambled back, cringing.

"No! Don't hurt him!"

"Leave him," Heather decided. "Ast can call the pound if she wants him gone in the morning." She unlocked the door. "Bye bye, Hiccup. This is one meal ticket you won't exploit!" Snot and Fishlegs hauled him out, still kicking and writhing but as the door slammed behind him, he stared wildly at the men holding him.

"You know how wrong this is?" he asked them. Tuff walked past, Hiccup's hoodie and jacket in his hands.

"What's wrong is that you're exploiting an emotionally vulnerable woman," he said. Shocked, Hiccup gave a humourless laugh.

"Where do I begin? Astrid isn't being exploited and you deserve your ass kicking for insulting her like that. She insisted I came with her, not the other way round. And she's the boss. And why the Helheim do you care? You were happy to leave her with that abusive bastard Eret! So let me go and…"

"What's going on 'ere?" A grating voice cut across his tirade and the scrawny miserable shape of the old man, Mildew, emerged from the door opposite Astrid's. Snotlout gestured with his head.

"Just taking out the trash!" he sneered. Mildew peered at the auburn-haired man and nodded.

"He's a bad 'un," he agreed. "I knew he were exploiting that sweet girl…"

"Lying old coot!" Hiccup snarled. "Astrid loathes you and you know she defended me. You know I'm staying with her."

"He's probably a thief as well," Mildew added viciously.

"As opposed to an evil interfering miserable old…"

Mildew whacked him full in the face with his walking stick and he slumped back, stunned, blood trickling from an eyebrow.

"Make sure you tae him somewhere well away from here so he can never come back!" he growled and watched as they manhandled him down the stairs. "That will teach yer ter bad-mouth me, girl! No one crosses Archibald Mildew and gets away with it!"

Hiccup was still stunned as the car pulled away, held in the back by Snot and Fishlegs. But as they pulled onto the main road, the husky blonde young man stared at Snotlout and Tuffnut.

"Where are you taking him?" he asked and there was a pause.

"I was going to drop him up in Raven Point Park," Tuff admitted. Fishlegs gasped.

"In this weather, he'll freeze to death!" he gasped.

"No loss," Snotlout scoffed and the husky man shuddered: Hiccup was a human being and his cousin. Whether he had been disowned or was homeless, nothing justified what they were suggesting. Admittedly, Snotlout was stupid as bread mould and Tuffnut was a lunatic but surely they couldn't think it was acceptable to leave a man out in the wilds in just a jacket and hoodie in the middle of Berk's Devastating Winter?

"You can tell Astrid you murdered her house guest then," he told the black-haired young man firmly. "And if you don't, I will." Handsome face twisted in a scowl, Snotlout paused and then huffed, his blue eyes annoyed.

"Alright," he said sulkily. "Take him down to the docks. There are people there and places he could keep warm-but it's the other side of the city from Astrid. It should protect her from him." There was a pause as Hiccup felt them accelerate away and as they drove him away from most of his possessions, his best friend and the only offer of home he had for years. And as his head spun and he felt the sticky sensation of blood congealing on his brow and cheek, he felt his spirits plummet.

They threw him out on the docks and he landed on his knees in a snowy sidewalk with his jacket and hoodie flung by him-and they drove away before he could even clamber up. Achingly, he pulled his clothes on and scanned the dilapidated waterfront for any signs of shelter. His head was aching, his hands were freezing and his heart was broken. He didn't have the strength to walk back to where Astrid lived-even if she would open the door-and he doubted he would ever see his best friend again. His stump was viciously jabbing white-hot pain whenever he put pressure through it and he was reduced to a lopsided hobble. So alone, freezing and desolate, he shambled towards the buildings…

"Don't forget me, bud," he whispered as he stumbled on.

oOo

The whining woke Astrid up, accompanied by a persistent scratching at the door and as she stared up at the ceiling, her head pounding, she wondered why Hiccup wasn't talking to the dog or calming him.

 _Maybe he's asleep…or sleeping off a hangover as well._

 _But Hiccup doesn't drink…_

She sat up and frowned, pressing a hand to her head and swallowing some aspirin before she got up-and only then realised she was fully dressed. She fished out her phone and saw the text -SLEEP WELL AST- as well as the date. December 26th.

 _Christmas was over._

She got up, swayed and then made it to the door, wrenching it open and peering at the distressed dog. The wood was scratched and damaged and she dimly realised he must have been trying to wake her for a considerable time. There was no food or water in his bowl and he had used his puppy pad. But his ears were back and his tail down and he looked very unhappy. Grimacing, she reached forward and stroked his ears.

"It's okay, Toothless," she murmured, then stumbled towards the kitchen to put the kettle on, grabbing his bowl on the way and filling it with water. "I need coffee…" And then she stared: the couch was neat and tidy, no evidence that anyone had slept there. She peered around: Hiccup's small grubby pack was still tucked, unregarded, behind Astrid's boots but his hoodie and coat were gone. She frowned and then fumbled for her phone. Instantly, she thumbed in Heather's number and called her. There were seven rings before the familiar voice sounded.

"Morning sleepy-head," Heather said far too cheerfully. "How's your head today?" Astrid scowled.

"Exploding, thank you very much," she replied shortly "And yours?"

"Fine-because I know when to stop," her friend replied smugly.

"Bitch," Astrid grumbled. "Look-I know I was drunk and went to bed early…but did Hiccup say where he was going? He doesn't have a key and he's not here. The couch hasn't been slept on and he hasn't taken his pack. Something's wrong. Did someone say something to him? Was it Snot?"

There was an awkward pause.

"We removed him," Heather said.

"What? No, I must still be drunk because my supposed friend did _not_ just say that…" Astrid shouted down the phone.

"Look, it's clear he was taking advantage of you…"Heather began and Astrid's eyes narrowed.

"So you, who is supposed to be my friend, thinks I'm so utterly pathetic and weak-willed and helpless that my friends have to come in and eject a man I have invited to stay with me, as if I were some child or idiot," she said in a low, icy voice. "My supposed friends think they can run my life. My supposed friends who all loved Eret who cheated on me and slapped me and thought the cure to dealing with my pain was to get me more alcohol. You wanted me to get back with that bastard!"

"Hey, what's…" Heather began.

"You know that bruise on my face when you came over? That scumbag Eret burst in on Christmas Eve announcing he was going to give me a second chance and when I told him to frick off, he grabbed me and slapped me. Hiccup threw him out!"

"But we thought that he…"

"Exactly how pathetic do you actually think I am?" Astrid screamed at her. "You know, this Christmas was actually the best one since they died, because I had Hiccup. Someone who could understand the pain I felt. Someone who could sympathise. Someone who made me want to crawl out of my hole and do something for someone else. I was sober when you came round, happy to be enjoying Christmas-or hadn't you noticed that? I wasn't floating in a bourbon sea hating life…well, not until you people came back and dragged everything back up and treated me like some charity case. And don't think I didn't notice that you excluded Hiccup from everything. No one spoke to him-except to imply he was some sort of con artist. Well-I checked up on him already."

"And…"

"He's front page of the Berk Trader for when he got the Medal of Honor-as the only person ever from Berk to win the award," Astrid said. "There's a picture of him as well if you want to check yourself since you probably don't trust me to be able to even use a computer without supervision. And when he was critically injured it was also on page one. I chose to spend my time with him-not you. And for you to throw out my choice of companion…"

"Look, we have to look out for you…" Heather began.

"If I need protecting, it's from you!" Astrid raged at her. "Where is Hiccup? What happened to him?"

There was a pause.

"I don't know," the other girl said quietly. Breathing hard, Astrid glared at her phone.

"Right-this is what's gonna happen," she said firmly. "You and the rest of those idiots-every single one of them-will be round here in fifteen minutes. Then we will go to where they left Hiccup and no one comes into the warm until we find him. No one. And if we don't find him, or he doesn't want anything to do with me after this or if he's died of the cold or been murdered, we're through. Forever. And I will never forgive you-any of you-for this in any case."

"Astrid…we were only doing what we thought was for the best…"

"For who?" Astrid sneered. "Clock's ticking." And she hung up. Then she stared at the whining Toothless. "Don't worry, boy-we'll find your friend and bring him home. I promise."

oOo

Astrid was already in her warm jacket with a scarf wound around her neck fifteen minutes later as the door buzzed and Heather said the quiet words 'We're here." Breathing hard, Astrid had turned to Toothless and rubbed his head. Her final present for Hiccup had been a collar and leash for the dog but she was going to have to use them to bring the mutt with her-because Toothless would find Hiccup when no one else could. She stared into the big green eyes and the dog stared up.

"Ready?" she asked and his tail wagged. "I'll take that as a 'yes'," she smiled as she let them out, checking her bag was slung across her body and fumbling for her mittens in her pocket-when she found a folded piece of paper. She stopped and frowned at it, Toothless sitting by her feet and whining. There was writing on one side, back-slanted and typical for a left hander:

 _Dear Astrid,_

 _I really have nothing of my own to give you in thanks for the amazing generosity you have shown me. So all I can do is give you a simple gift-of how you should be when you are with someone you deserve._

 _Your friend, Hiccup_

She turned the paper over to stare at a perfect image of herself, sketched in ballpoint, the delicate shading and perfect observation catching her when she had been laughing with him, at a moment when her eyes sparkled and her face was lit with joy. It was just a simple plain sheet of paper and with that and a simple ballpoint, he had created a masterpiece. And it was his present to her. Blinking hard, she stormed down the stairs and out into the frigid morning, her eyes flashing with rage.

"Look!" she growled and brandished the picture. Heather stared in shock at the image and then lifted her green eyes.

"It's beautiful," she noted as Astrid carefully folded it away and clambered in to the car.

"Where did you idiots leave him?" she demanded. Snotlout-who was sitting next to her-folded his arms.

"The docks with all the other trash…" he began and then yelped as Astrid punched him full in the face and Toothless bit his knee.

"OW! That dog is dangerous!" Snotlout whined as the dog struggled to get onto Astrid's lap and she lifted him and wrapped her arms around him.

"No-you are," she retorted, "You took away his owner. Now shut up, Snotlout. Or maybe you can look on your phone for the meaning of the word 'kidnapping'…"

"Kidnapping is the crime of seizing and carrying away a person by force or fraud or seizing and detaining a person against his or her will with the intent to carry that person away at a later time," Tuff piped up from the front seat.

"There-Tuff has saved your tiny brain from overheating, Snot-so now you know what the police will be saying when they arrest you for kidnapping Hiccup," Astrid growled and there was sudden silence in the car.

"What?" Ruff said, voicing everyone's sudden concern.

"Well, Hiccup didn't want to come so I guess you dragged him out by force-am I right so far?" Astrid asked sharply and the sudden fierce inspection of knees or the floor answered her.

"But he hasn't complained to the police," the female twin protested but Astrid gave a grim smile.

"I am complaining on his behalf," she said coldly. "Oh, I'm sorry if you think I'm incapable of doing anything myself but the truth is-I have been looking out for myself for the last six years. And I haven't always made great choices-my way of dealing with my parents' loss at Christmas and my taste in men so far are examples I happily put my hand up to-but I will not tolerate people I thought were my friends kidnapping and threatening one of my friends."

"But he…"

"He would never have left his pack or Toothless, Fish," Astrid told the husky blonde man directly. "So he was forced out. Against my wishes. How _dare_ you claim to be friends when you did that? And the only reason why you are not all in cells is because I need you to find him. If I don't or I hear one more word of complaining, I am making the call. Understand?"

There were nods and murmurs of 'Yes, Astrid,' before the car fell silent and they glided through the snow-lined streets down the gradual slope that finally took them to the docks, the poorest and roughest area in town. They parked up and Astrid stepped out-to be hit in the face with a fierce arctic wind. She shivered and dragged her scarf higher up over her face.

"You left him out in this?" she accused then and then were mumbles from the three culprits until Astrid headed for the nearest alley. They stared at her. "Come on," she told them. "We have to find him."

But after two hours of fruitless and frozen searching, there was no sign in any feasible hiding place for a tall skinny man to curl up in. Finally, all thoroughly frozen, they stood on the street.

"It was seventeen degrees below last night," Fishlegs announced, checking his phone. "He would be dead if he had been out in that."

"He must have gone to a shelter," Heather deduced and Astrid sighed and closed her eyes.

"Gods, that would have been a nightmare for him," she sighed. "Okay-which ones are nearest…?"

They had trailed through shelter after shelter, asking the same question. What surprised Heather was that Astrid produced her phone which had a picture of Hiccup in his uniform, downloaded from the news website from that day he was awarded his Medal and for a moment, the raven-haired woman saw what her friend saw in the man. There was a quiet charisma in his smile and in his glittering emerald eyes. But every time, the shelter workers had generously allowed them to look around-but there was no sign of him. Toothless just sat, ears back as they searched and Astrid knew they would be unsuccessful even before they competed the mission. Finally, they had only one shelter left-one at the far end of the docks, a very rough place named 'Vanaheim'. Wearily, Astrid shuffled through her bag and Snotlout's eyes widened as he saw a flask, Instantly he snatched it and unscrewed the top sniffing.

"Mmm, babe-you shouldn't have," he smiled. "Warm coffee…just what I need…" She snatched it back and carefully screwed the cap back on.

"I didn't-because it's for Hiccup," she said sharply. "The poor guy will be frozen and this was all I could whip up in the time…" She shoved it in her bag and sighed, clicking her phone on to the picture. "This time, for sure," she sighed and led them in.

The difference was instant: all the previous shelters had been light and clean and warm. Not salubrious but functional and inviting. This place was gloomy with rackety benches by mismatched trestle tables and a serving hatch with the shutters down. The worker looked disinterested as well as he waved them in, uncaring if he could help them. And like all the other shelters, it was packed, due to the holiday and the severe weather, no matter how meagre the accommodation. So they walked in, fielding a few whistles and jeers from the inhabitants. Astrid pulled her hat off and peered around, wrinkling her nose at the stench of unwashed bodies and dreadful food. Some of the men were definitely drunk or high and she wondered how she would cope in such a place…let alone manage if she had already suffered as her friend had. But Toothless was suddenly alert, his tail wagging and pulling on the leash, limping rapidly through legs as they headed right for the back and furthest corner.

"Is he here?" Astrid asked as Toothess whined and gave a small yip-then pulled free, scampering forward towards a small shape curled right in the shadowy back corner, hunched up with his arms around his legs. A brown hoodie was pulled up over his brownish hair and shadowed his face and an inadequate denim jacket was wrapped around his skinny shape. The dog raced to the huddled man and nudged him with his nose, the wet attack on the man causing a trembling hand to extend to rub the mutt's head.

"Bud?" The voice was quiet but familiar as the man lifted his head.

"Hiccup?" Astrid said, almost unable to speak as she saw him hunch up. She walked forward and crouched by him, resting her hand on his. "Hiccup?" He lifted his head and his dull emerald eyes stared into her face.

"Astrid…?" he managed and she winced as she saw the cut and bruising on his brow and around his eye. "I-I thought…"

She lunged forward and flung herself against him, her arms wrapped around his neck and pulling him close.

"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered and squeezed her eyes shut. Warily, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck.

"But your friends…" he murmured against her neck. "I-I can't come between you and…" Her arms tightened around him, ghosting a kiss on his stubbly cheek.

"Screw them," she said shortly. "If they don't like that I want to spend time with someone who has made me laugh and come to terms with losing my parents, with someone who punched Eret for me and who gave me the most magical present…then they aren't friends." He pulled back enough to allow her to look into his ashen face, seeing the pallor and the deep shadows under his eyes. "And you didn't sleep at all last night," she added. He managed the slightest nod.

"This is the last place I ever want to be," he murmured, confirming her suspicion that this was the place where he had been attacked. "But all the other shelters were full-Christmas and all that-and it was so cold that staying out with what I have on would be fatal. So I came here…but when I was here, alone without Toothless or you…I couldn't risk anything. I just sat here all night, terrified that they would come once more. I didn't eat or drink. I just sat and watched and realised that if this was life…I couldn't do it any more. Alone…I don't want to exist any more."

She blinked and a hand stroked his bruised cheek. She pushed his hood back and ran her fingers through his tousled auburn hair.

"Oh, Hiccup," she sighed. "You have Toothless and me. You can't give up. Please-come home." He swallowed.

"Home?" he murmured, staring into her eyes. She nodded as Toothless fidgeted right up against him, whining and he automatically wrapped an arm around him.

"With me," she told him simply. "Your home is with me-for as long as you want it. Please…come home. Be safe. Be with me. I don't want to be alone either." She pulled back and rose to her feet, pulling him up and as he rose, there were jeers from the other men. But he only had eyes for the beautiful blonde who was holding his hands and smiling.

"Then how can I deny such a kind and beautiful woman?" he murmured dryly. She pulled him back towards the front where the others were waiting-and then she stopped, glaring at them.

"I think you have something to say," she said furiously to the friends and they stared at her, all looking embarrassed as she stood there, a hand clasped with the hand of the tall, skinny, self-conscious man with wild auburn hair and wary emerald eyes. Heather stared between the two and what they should have seen earlier became obvious: Astrid cared for him and was determined to give him a chance. Just as they had been determined not to give him any chance at all, preferring their own assumptions rather than seeing the person in front of them.

"We…we're very sorry," the raven-haired woman said. "We…made a mistake."

Astrid growled.

"We did a terrible thing to you, Hiccup," Fishlegs said honestly. "We were cruel and overbearing and disrespected Astrid and frankly…we kidnapped you and snatched you from your home because we thought we knew better than Astrid based on our assumptions of homeless people rather than on you yourself."

There was a pause and Astrid glared at the others. "Anything you have to say?" she growled.

"Fine," Snotlout huffed. "What we did wasn't fair and we owe you an apology. But can you blame us when we set eyes on you. I mean…"

"Real sincere," Hiccup murmured quietly.

"Look-we realise what we did was wrong," Ruff added. "And Astrid has told us what you did for her. That you threw out Eret after he hit her. Good job, man."

"Yeah-we never realised he was such a slime," Tuff added. "And we thought you had been the one to….never mind…" Hiccup stared at him and then at Astrid.

"Can we go please?" he asked softly. "I think Toothless wants to be out of here as well."

"Smart dog," she said curtly and led him outside, the friends trailing they reached the cars, she paused and looked at them sternly. "Okay-you are taking us home and then you will go. No arguments. I will call you tomorrow and we can talk further…but you guys will have a lot more making up than those frankly pathetic apologies!"

"Hey-mine was pretty awesome since I have never apologised before…" Snotlout protested.

"Shows," Hiccup murmured.

"But you're our friend, Ast…and we know we upset you…but we were only worried about you," Fishlegs added before the stocky boy could put his foot in it more. "And we want to make up to you for what we did…and to you, Hiccup…"

"Me?" The tone was cynical. Heather nodded.

"Look-Astrid sees something in you and wants to be your friend…and as we are her friends, we want to be yours as well…" she began awkwardly.

"Unusual way of showing it," Hiccup replied sarcastically. "Look…can we just get out of here and do all this bit…later?" His grip tightened on Astrid's at the mutterings of the other men in the shelter. "Please…" Astrid turned to face him and smiled.

"Let's go home, Hiccup," she said.


	6. Chapter 6

**Six.**

It was a very unpleasant seasonal surprise when Mildew opened his door the next morning to the pair of cops-Officers Hoark and Ack-who promptly arrested him for assault. Hiccup had pressed charges against the old man, supported by Snotlout, Tuffnut and Fishlegs, who had been witnesses to the attack. And though it hadn't been a serious assault, Hiccup had needed stitches and Astrid had been insistent that the vicious old man shouldn't get away with hurting him. And Mildew's day got worse when the building management company contacted him because he had let in someone who had known they wouldn't be admitted by the person they had come to see. The building CCTV confirmed that Mildew had let Eret in-Eret who had gone on to hit Astrid. The fact he seemed to keep a sheep in his apartment when an unexpected inspection was held all added up to his tenancy being revoked and Mildew being evicted in the New Year.

oOo

Hiccup had arrived back in Astrid's apartment as dusk fell and the temperature fell ferociously low. Quietly, he had stared out of the window, still in his jacket and hoodie, as the light faded before he turned to the watchful blonde.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "Thank you. I-I really don't deserve this kindness and generosity but…" She had walked forward, the picture in her hand and she had smiled at him, taking his cold hand.

"The man who can produce this amazing portrait doesn't deserve to freeze to death," she told him quietly. "You're an amazing man, Hiccup. I missed you. It was my fault. And I have to apologise as well…" His hands had tightened around hers and she had stared up into his eyes.

"You know, you're doing a great job so far," he told her quietly.

"And I need to do a better one," she told him gently, helping him off with his outdoor clothes. "Now you have an address, we can get you the help you need…"

"You think I need help?" he asked dryly. She smiled.

"You certainly quality for some benefits, maybe support for some courses to train you after you left the Army and…and support with your prosthetic," she added. "I guess it hasn't been checked since it was fitted?" He looked away and sighed.

"It rubs badly," he admitted and she sighed.

"It shouldn't," she reminded him. "So we're getting that fixed. And we can enrol you in whatever training you need so you can get a job."

"So you're putting me out to work…" he commented as they sat on the couch and Toothless struggled up into his lap. "Hmm…I could always busk…"

"I heard you singing in the shower-and no, that wouldn't even keep me in coffee…" she smirked, He chuckled.

"You have quite a habit there," he noted. She elbowed him gently.

"Better than booze," she admitted. "Hiccup-I am so sorry. I should have kept my head and not allowed myself to get wasted…" He shrugged.

"I can hardly talk," he reminded her.

"But you stopped…"

"I had good reason," he said quietly as her hand landed softly on his arm.

"Help me," she asked his gently. "Help me move forward and deal with things more healthily. Be my friend…please?" He leaned towards her and kissed her cheek.

"I am your friend," he told her honestly. "You help me and I help you."

"And we both help Toothless," she smiled as the dog gave a small yip and was promptly patted by both of them. His tail wagged wildly. Hiccup laughed.

"Stupid mutt," he said affectionately as the snow started outside. "I am so lucky to be here with my two favourite people in the world."

oOo

Astrid and Hiccup had invited the friends round on New Year's Eve-with very strict rules: wine only, no comments about Hiccup and they all acted like adults.

"That rules out the twins," Hiccup noted as Astrid hung up on Heather.

"Probably," she admitted, "but they're coming anyway."

"Oh Thor-maybe I should hide in the shower until they leave," he suggested but she smirked and swatted his shoulder. "Ow! I think I'm developing a permanent bruise there," he added.

"It's not violence, it's communication," she reminded him as he pointedly rubbed his shoulder. "Are you ready?" He nodded.

"I have to remember they are just people," he sighed. "Not monsters who tormented me for years. Not family who wouldn't even piss on me if I was on fire. Not strangers who made a judgement that a homeless person had to be deceiving their friend and decided to kidnap and abandon him." He didn't mention the original plan-because he wanted Astrid to give them a chance since she had given him a chance. And he knew that if she knew they had planned to leave him alone out in the woods to die, she would end their friendship. "Just stupid, prejudiced people."

They had decorated the tree with more lights and baubles and put more lights around the small fireplace. The dining table had been pushed back against the wall and Astrid-with Hiccup's help-had cooked burgers and hot dogs along with spicy fries and corn salad. There was a black forest trifle for dessert that Hiccup had made because it had been his father's favourite. And there were chips and dips on the side table.

The friends had arrived on time and Astrid had let them in, welcoming them with a smile and a hug and taking their coats. They had wandered in to find Hiccup in the kitchen, making fruit punch.

"It's non alcoholic for the designated driver," he explained when Snot had scowled at him. "I don't drink." There were gasps and he had smiled. "There are a number of homeless people who have drinking problems, guys, but I'm not one of them. Not now. I just lost a leg, found my family gone and well, didn't cope very well."

"We looked you up," Heather said awkwardly, accepting a glass of the punch, which was very tasty. "Um…did you really do all of that?" Hiccup arched an eyebrow.

"All of what?" he asked warily.

"Saving two patrols, rescuing wounded men, killing over fifty enemies, destroying their base? Securing the town? All by yourself?" Fishlegs asked him eagerly. Rubbing the back of his neck, Hiccup shrugged.

"I may have done…some of that," he admitted. Fishlegs was almost bouncing with excitement.

"And looking at your record, it looks like you've been awarded the Medal of Honor, the Distinguished Service Cross, the Distinguished Service Medal, a Silver Star, two Purple Hearts, the Afghanistan and Iraq Campaign Medals and the Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal," Fishlegs said as Astrid and the others stared at him. Astrid looked at the self-conscious auburn haired man and marched towards him.

"WHAT? When did you do all of that?" she demanded. "And why didn't you tell me?" He shrugged.

"Because it's in the past," he told her quietly. "I did a lot of dangerous missions in Iraq and Afghanistan with Thug. We were daredevils and fearless. We took on every crazy mission they thought of and we completed every one because he had my back and I had his. I killed a lot of enemies and saw many friends die…but we kicked butt and did some good, I hope." He paused. "How do you think I made Lieutenant in under five years?" He smiled at her shocked face and then he sighed. "Astrid-there are memories there I don't want to revisit, things that haunt me when I sleep. And the end, where Thug died…Gods, I don't want to remember that. That was when it ended and this all started…" She rested her drink on the counter and caught his hand, feeling the tremble.

"Every ending is a new beginning," she reminded him. "This is one of those times, Hiccup. Let us help you." Heather and Fishlegs nodded and even Snotlout gave a reluctant acknowledgement.

"Ha! He likes me now!" Tuff called from the floor, where Toothless was licking his face. To Astrid, it seemed the male twin had smeared meat pate all over his face.

"Stupid mutt," Hiccup murmured and she smiled at his tone. "Serve you right if he eats your face off." Tuff sat up abruptly.

"He can do that?" he asked hopefully. "Awesome. See Butt-Elf? I can be more hideous than you!"

"You're not hideous, Tuff," Astrid told him in exasperation. "Neither of you are. Terrifying sometimes but not hideous!"

"Awww…" Both twins looked like they'd been grounded.

"I could ask him to savage you a bit, if you want," Hiccup offered sarcastically. "Of course, he would prefer it if Snot volunteered."

"Ha ha," his cousin scowled. "I mean-how do you do it? You leave Berk, lose contact with us, leave home, get disowned, join the army, get hot, win a bag full of awards, end up homeless, get a really cool dog and still end up living with Astrid which I have been trying to do for years!" Hiccup stared at him.

"Wow. You've uncovered my super-secret master plan," he said sarcastically. "Glad I managed to get beaten up and almost knifed in the correct alley just as Astrid was walking past…" Snotlout stared at him in shock.

"Really?"

"No!" Hiccup retorted.

"And Snotlout-just for the record-if you were the last man on the whole of Midgard, you would stand precisely NO chance of EVER living with me," Astrid added sharply.

"Aww, babe-you know you're really fighting your raging…" Snotlout began and caught her scowl. "What?"

"Do you know what happened to the last person who hit on me and wouldn't take no for an answer?" she asked him sweetly. He raised a finger and frowned in concentration. After an awkward moment, he shook his head.

"Nope. Got nothing," he admitted. Astrid slid her arm through Hiccup's and the one-legged man blushed fiercely.

"Hiccup-my hero-threatened to break his wrist, punched him and threw him out!" she said smugly. "Want him to do the same for you?"

"Hey, babe-I was just…" he protested but Astrid jerked her head in Hiccup's direction and Snotlout huffed theatrically. "FINE! But you are missing a…" He caught her scowl. "Your loss, babe."

"I can survive that one," she told him firmly. "Now-who wants burgers?"

"I mean, I cannot believe my scrawny runt of a cousin grew up and learned how to fight and shoot and…" Snotlout continued, grabbing a handful of chips and scowling. Ruff leaned on the counter and leered unsettlingly at him.

"Really? How much fighting?" she asked in what she thought was a seductive manner. The effect was weird and very menacing.

"Lots of unarmed combat, expert marksman…um…yeah…" Hiccup said, backing up a pace. "Help." Astrid snapped her fingers in front of Ruff's face and sighed.

"Ruff-stop frightening him," she scolded her. "And I saw him first." Hiccup's head snapped round to inspect her, eyes widening at her smug smile. She lifted her eyes to meet his shocked gaze. "It's okay," she mouthed. "I'm not about to jump you…" He managed a wan smile.

"Thanks," he managed shakily. "Now…you mentioned burgers?"

Once everyone had food and drink and they all had seats-Astrid had insisted she and Hiccup and Toothless had the couch-they settled down to eat and chat. Hiccup listened quietly as Toothless expertly begged two hot dogs and a burger from the twins while remaining curled up by his master. Snotlout revealed-to no one's surprise-that he was working at Berk Lumber with his father and learning the ropes while the twins actually ran an interior design business. Fishlegs was a Maths teacher in the local College though he was applying to work at the High School and Hiccup quietly asked him what courses the College ran-because he wanted to finish his education and wondered what options he had.

"Of course, my ideal job would be working with Gobber," he sighed. "I mean, I spent so many hours with him when I was younger and…"

"Gobber Belcher?" Heather asked suddenly. "The two limbed lunatic with the braided moustache who sings that song about being 'a Viking Through and Through'? Very badly?" Hiccup sat up suddenly and stared at her, eyes focussed.

"You know him?" he asked urgently. She nodded.

"Of course," she said. "Best mechanic in Berserk! He moved there…maybe five or six years ago? My brother uses him all the time for his bike and truck-swears he can smell what's wrong with a vehicle!"

"Don't tell me he still tastes the oil to diagnose the problem?" Hiccup asked and Heather burst out laughing.

"You know-I thought he was joking but he really does that?" she giggled. Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"Yup-though I really cannot understand how he does it," he admitted. "So he's in Berserk? I really need to speak to him…" Heather gave a smile.

"I'll get his number from my brother-and his address," she promised. "He was your mentor?"

"My godfather," Hiccup revealed. "He vanished and I couldn't find him after I came home and found out Dad was dead. He was the one person I wanted to talk to…"

"I'll text Dagur now," Heather said and got up to find her phone while Astrid squeezed his hand.

"We'll go together," she promised. "You can see him and I'm sure he can fill you in over what happened…" He smiled then, though his eyes were shadowed.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "I need to talk to him." And then he looked at the others. "And now, for what you owe me…" There was silence. "You did a terrible thing to me and even though you have apologised, I think you need to do something to make up." He looked at Astrid who had smiled: she fully supported his idea and thought it was a great way to teach the friends a lesson. "You took me from safety for twenty hours and left me penniless and without shelter in the freezing winter. So in payment, you will each work twenty days during the next year volunteering in the shelters for the homeless."

There was silence.

"Or I can report you all for kidnapping," he added.

"What?" Tuff protested.

"Man…we were getting on so well…" Ruff groaned.

"I might catch something," Snotlout whined.

"I understand," Fishlegs sighed. "It's only fair…" And Heather nodded as well.

"And probably very necessary…especially for some of us…" she finished, glaring at Snotlout.

"Fine!" he huffed. "You're always getting at me, Heather. Is it because you are struggling with your attraction to the Snotman? Wanna get close to this beautiful face?"

"Ugh, I can see why you hit him so often," Heather grumbled.

"You have my sympathies," Astrid smirked. "Now let's settle back and enjoy the evening-with new friends…"

"Some old, some new," Hiccup murmured as Toothless wagged his tail. "And some definitely crazy. Tuff! If you feed him any more hot dogs, he may throw up and you are gonna have to clean that up."

"Tyrant," the male twin grumbled.

oOo

It was in the New Year that Hiccup and Astrid took the train to Berserk, a four hour journey that had Astrid sleeping-and drooling-on Hiccup's shoulder while Toothless sat obediently by Hiccup's leg, alert and on duty as he could tell that his master was very anxious. Astrid had phoned ahead and asked if she could book a vehicle in with Gobber and the man had agreed so she booked the appointment and set out for the meeting.

They pulled up in a taxi to 'Gobber's Forge' and as Astrid paid the fare, Hiccup emerged, clad in the coat Astrid had bought him as a New Year's gift in the sales over his other new clothes, with Toothless at his side. Quietly, he limped to the front of the garage and peered in, his sharp eyes seeing familiar tools and the layout he remembered from years working with the man. Frowning, he walked in and saw a hammer on the floor and slowly, he bent down and picked it up, smiling as he recognised the tool.

"Hallo, Sadie," he murmured.

"Hey-what're yer doin' with meh hammer?" a voice boomed, his broad Scottish Brogue mangling the words in a way that was achingly familiar. Quietly, Hiccup turned to the man, who was standing behind him and deliberately hung the hammer in its usual place on the old and oil-stained rack.

"Putting Sadie back where she belongs," he said as the man stared in shock. Gobber was missing his left hand and right foot from active service in the army alongside Hiccup's father and was a little taller than the auburn-haired man, his powerful shape tending to fat round the middle. Twinkling blue eyes topped a broad face with a long braided blond moustache and large chin.

"It can't be…" he murmured, staring at the tall, skinny shape standing there. "Hiccup?"

"Hey Gobber," he said as the man lurched forward, wrapping a huge hug around Hiccup. Trying to return the hug, Hiccup ended up tapping Gobber's arm increasingly frantically. "AIR!" he gasped as the big man finally released him. "Gobber…still need air…" The man scratched his bald head with his false hand.

"Eh-sorry, lad," he murmured. "I…I…" His voice cracked. "I'm sorry…."

Hiccup stared at him.

"Um…for what, Gobber?" he asked in surprise. "Pretty sure my Dad made his own decisions, no matter how stupid they were. And he-and I-have to live with those consequences…" Gobber shook his head.

"I tried tae make him see sense," he admitted, his face filled with shame. "Your father was the most rock-headed son of a Viking I ever knew. Once he made his mind up, there was no shifting it. Even when even he could see how stupid he was being…"

"But…why?" Hiccup asked helplessly as Astrid entered the garage. "Why kick me out of my home, the family, everything for doing what he did?" Gobber sighed.

"Because he was ne'er the same after the Army," he revealed. "He-we-saw terrible things. He saw meh injuries and he ne'er wanted you tae see or suffer the same as we did. He knew you were destined fer more. You were very smart, inventive, artistic. You took so much after yuir mother that he wanted tae protect you." He paused and gave a wry smile. "Of course, bein' Stoick Haddock, he never explained himself tae anyone. It was always his way or the highway."

"Snotlout said he threw all my letters away unopened-and he seemed to think I was dead," Hiccup asked the mechanic and the man shrugged.

"I'm nae too sure," he confessed. "A year or so after yer left, I went. We had argued so much about yer that I couldnae stay. And I wouldn't go back tae Berk because there were too many memories so I headed for a new start in Berserk." Hiccup sagged.

"I'm sorry," he sighed as Astrid slipped her hand into his. "I know you were friends from the start of Elementary School. I hate that you argued over me…" Gobber sighed.

"Look-it happened," he admitted. "But he wrote tae me when yer picture was on the front cover of the Barbaric News and told me he were very proud of yer. He said he had charged his will and that you were his son once more. He planned to write tae yer and reconcile…"

"So what happened?" Hiccup asked quietly, guessing the answer.

"He had his stroke the day he posted the letter to me," Gobber sighed. "Somehow, his old will was enacted and all his possessions were handed over to the charity. And nothing could be done without the rightful beneficiary there to claim it. The real will is lodged with the court in Meathead and if you challenge, they will have to hand over your money."

Astrid gave a shocked laugh. "That's…amazing…" she gasped, her hand tightening on Hiccup's. "I mean-there is some hope that you may have something after all…" But he remained staring at the floor and his shoulders hunched.

"Not the most important thing," he murmured. "Time with my Dad." And she swallowed, blinking hard.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and he looked up, immediately wrapping a hug around her.

"No, I should be sorry," he said gently. "It was thoughtless…" She shook her head, palming her cheeks dry.

"I know what you mean," she sighed. "I would have given an arm to spend a little more time with my parents…"

"And all the things that were irreplaceable in the house…" he murmured, hugging her tightly. There was a pause and Gobber cleared his throat.

"Actually, laddie-when yer made yer choice and left, yer Dad gave me most of your things to keep," he said and pointed to a large dusty trunk at the back of the garage. "It's something." Head snapping round, Hiccup limped to the back and tentatively lifted the lid-to stare down at some clothes, all his books, his paints, his computer, discs, pictures, photos, albums and the plush dragon toy that his mother had sewn for him when he was a baby-shortly before she died of cancer. Mouth open, he lifted it and stared in shock.

"G-Gobber…" he mouthed. "I…I…" Emerald eyes swung up to the two-limbed mechanic and the older man immediately hugged him, feeling the lanky arms wrap around his solid form.

"Yer welcome, laddie," he said gruffly. "Now, do yer want tae tek it with yer?" Hiccup sighed.

"I'm staying with Astrid in Berk," he explained. "Um…not a lot of room in her apartment…" Gobber stared at him and then at the young woman.

"Tell meh what happened," he said, indicating to a paint-splattered bench and clicking his kettle on. Warily, Hiccup limped over to the bench with Astrid at his side and Gobber arched his thick blond unibrow. "And start with what happened tae yer leg."

Over some very unpalatable coffee, Hiccup explained his tale to his godfather and how he had finally ended up with Astrid a couple of days before Christmas. How he had given everything and been rewarded with nothing…until an old friend had offered him hope and generosity in a cold and lonely world.

"Aye, that was a blessing," Gobber commented. "Hmm…well, yer back and these Berserkers ain't a patch on Berkians so it would be easier if I just moved back tae Berk…and took on meh favourite godson as meh partner!"

"What, you got another godson?" Hiccup asked sarcastically. Gobber laughed.

"Nah…yer more than enough with yer sass, laddie," he smiled and Hiccup gave a small smile.

"Thanks, Gobber," he said in a thick voice. "That means…so much…" Gobber clapped him across the back and almost knocked him off the bench.

"Aye-old Gobber can help yer with yer leg as well-since I've bin living with-or more precisely without-a leg for nigh on twenty years…" he grinned brashly. "And I can give yer some tips with the ladies…" Hiccup's eyes widened.

"Thor, no!" he exploded. "Um…the rest of it, yes please…but relationship tips from a meatheaded lunatic with two limbs and no ladies…I think not…"

"Yer loss," Gobber grinned and sipped his coffee. "Ahhh…smooth as a baby's backside…" Astrid gave him a jaundiced look: to her, the coffee tasted like engine oil.

"In a parallel universe, maybe," she commented and Gobber winked.

"Aye, yer the lass fer him," he said sagely. "Enough sass between the pair of you ter drive a man tae drink!" Both Hiccup and Astrid shared an embarrassed look and then gave false laughs.

"Very funny," Hiccup said entirely unconvincingly. "What a joker you are, Gobber…" And the older man gave a sad smile.

"Yer too?" he sighed. "Yer father struggled as well after he left the Army. He drunk a lot fer a while-yer probably didnae remember…yer were very small. And yer Mom's death didnae help…but he got his head in order because he had yer…"

"I sorted it as well," Hiccup sighed softly. "And now I have Astrid to keep an eye on me." Gobber smiled.

"So…yer know any good apartments in Berk?" he asked.

oOo

True to her word, Astrid had been very thorough in investigating what Hiccup was due as a medically discharged veteran and had discovered that he was eligible for some social benefits and fees to support retraining in thanks for his service. The man she spoke to in the defence department had been horrified that a decorated veteran had ended up penniless and on the streets because no one had signposted him to what he was due.

It hadn't stopped Hiccup feeling immensely self-conscious and ashamed that he required support because his father had always taught him to be fiercely independent-but, as Astrid pointed out, sometimes everyone needed a helping hand and Hiccup had given more than most for his country. So they signed the forms, attended the interview and he suddenly found himself receiving a small amount of benefits every week. He was able to register his empty bank account and social security number at Astrid's address and suddenly, he was a real person once more.

He had been grateful to be referred to the Prosthetics Service and they had assessed and tended his stump, identifying the problems with his current prosthetic that were causing it to rub-both the cup needed revision and he needed a new prosthetic, because years of living in the cold and the damp had done serious damage to the mechanics. So he was remeasured for a false limb and prioritised because he was a veteran and suddenly, his stump was healing and he was being fitted with his new leg that allowed him to walk much more normally and finally pain free.

He had been far more resistant to Astrid's other suggestion-that he seek counselling for his nightmares that she suspected were due to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, curling in on himself and looking away.

"I can't," he whispered, shaking his head. "I-I'm sorry, Astrid. I-I just can't."

Frustrated, she had almost growled at him but then she had recalled just how many horrible experiences he had to deal with and she had sat by his side, holding his hand and gently stroking his thumb across his knuckles.

"Hiccup," she sighed, "I can guess why you don't want to do this-the same reason why I have avoided counselling after losing my parents. I don't want to relive that. I don't want to face up to the fact that my parents died, that I handled it badly, what I regret and wish I had done…but I will if you will."

"I'll pass," he said quietly.

"You can't," she told him gently, her thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hand. "Hiccup-your nightmares are crippling! Even when you've got parts of your life more sorted, they're every night! And you-you don't deserve them. You saw some terrible things and experienced worse…but you deserve a chance to work through them and heal. You've given up so much-you need to be able to move on with your life." He was breathing hard and raggedly, his head down and eyes screwed shut.

"I can't," he breathed. "Please don't make me go through that again…" She wrapped her other hand around his and half-turned to face him.

"Hiccup-I will come with you, if you want," she offered softly. "I will be there. Toothless will be there. You are safe. You will be safe. You aren't alone." He swiped at his face and took a shuddering breath.

"Really?" he murmured. "Oh Gods, how pathetic am I?" She pulled him close and hugged him.

"As pathetic as me because I've not been facing this for six years," she told him. "I've been avoiding it. But I'll make a deal…" He hugged her back.

"I know," he sighed. "And I am grateful. Just reluctant…" She shook her head.

"Look-you have three main areas of problems," she told him.

"Only three? I thought the leg, the leg and the leg would be three on their own," he commented sarcastically and she gave a small chuckle at his sarcasm.

"The issues with the loss of your leg, your friend and your identity as a soldier is one, the unresolved issues with your father is another and, of course, what happened to you on the streets," she reminded him.

"Thank you for summing that up," he said tonelessly.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "And you do need counselling-but we also need to make steps to move past that. So with the leg, we have your new prosthetic being sorted-but I'm sorry, Hiccup-you do need counselling after watching your friend die so horribly." Head still down, he nodded.

"I know," he admitted heavily. "I-I just have to man up and face it."

"We are working on dealing with your time as a homeless person," she added. "And I loved the way you set the others to help in the shelters-though I note no one has volunteered for Vanaheim…"

"Don't blame them," Hiccup muttered.

"Interestingly, the twins are spending most weekends there and have signed up beyond their twenty days," Astrid told him. "I think they may have learned something…though Snotlout is moaning like mad still."

"Snot will only stop moaning when he's actually deceased," Hiccup told her with a small smile, lifting his red-rimmed eyes.

"Heather is thinking she will carry on volunteering after she's done her days as well-and Fish is teaching some simple maths and money management to the men in his shelter," she added. "The horrible thing they did to you has brought a lot of good to others. And that is all down to you." He gave a thoughtful nod.

"Sometimes, the way to cancel out a bad thing is a greater good one," he admitted.

"And your Dad…well, you still need to see what he wrote in that will to come to some sort of peace," she concluded. Hiccup nodded, a pained smile on his face.

"I might even be able to pay you back," he said with a small smile. She snuggled against him.

"Hiccup-I still owe you far more than that," she pointed out.

"We'll see," he said.


	7. Chapter 7

**Seven.**

Sven Svenson, Stoick Haddock's lawyer for over thirty years, had been surprised but pleased to be contacted by Hiccup two days later to enquire about his father's estate. He explained where he had been, the lack of support and bad information he had been given on finding his father was dead and the struggles he had suffered. And Sven had invited him to his Berk office later that day to discuss the will and the prospects of getting the old will overturned.

As it turned out, the process was relatively simple-or would be had the Berk Historical Preservation Society not fought tooth and nail to hang onto what they had been given, even at the expense of leaving the man's rightful heir penniless. So despite his qualms, the young man had been forced to meet them in court.

Astrid had found him become more and more anxious as he neared the court date and she was half-expecting him to say he wanted to stop the process-which she wouldn't have allowed him to do anyway-but he had quietly informed her that he would see it through, no matter what, because his father would expect him to fight for what was his. And of course, Stoick Haddock had hated his wishes being disobeyed-and that was precisely what had happened. So his son would fight to get his father's final wishes honoured and in the process, win back his inheritance.

He was now enrolled at Berk College for a part time engineering course and was working with Gobber-who had relocated 'Gobber's Forge' to Berk in early February. Toothless had been registered as a service dog to support him with his PTSD and the black mutt was now in fine shape, still lean but his coat was fluffy and soft and he was a loyal and devoted companion and protector. Astrid had come with him to kit him out in a cheap suit for court, a dark brown with cream shirt and green tie that suited his colouring and as she had brushed a little imaginary lint of his shoulder as she had checked him over before they left the apartment, she had felt a small surge of pride at the man who faced her. Hiccup was clean-shaven, his hair neater though still casually tousled and emerald eyes sparkling in his anxious face. His lean shape was straight and tall and he looked smart and handsome.

"You are someone I would be honoured to walk with," she whispered to him as they left the building and got into the taxi.

The Judge-an elderly and rather impatient member of the Judiciary-had initially been unimpressed that someone was trying to take money away from one of Berk's most revered institutions-until he had become aware of the particulars of the case. The fact that the plaintiff was a decorated war veteran, a man who had served with distinction and who had lost a leg in the service of his country, made him a little more sympathetic. And even more so when he read Gobber's letter from Stoick and realised that Hiccup's Father had wanted to make up and repair their relationship-except cruel fate had denied him the opportunity. The news that the Historical Preservation Society knew that there was another valid will that superseded the one they insisted was enacted only enraged him further.

"Never in my thirty years as a judge have I heard such blatant disregard for the law and for all laws of common decency!" he raged. "And as a result, you were homeless and on the streets, Lieutenant Haddock? Denied any of the money your father left you to ease your passage from being a serving soldier to a man with disabilities and psychological wounds?"

Hiccup had blushed at the accurate but blunt description and had nodded as Toothless pressed reassuringly against his knee.

"Yes, Judge," he had admitted.

"Scandalous!" the Judge had growled. "I award the entire value of the estate to the sole living beneficiary-Lieutenant Hiccup Haddock. The BHPS have already tendered receipts for the sale of the house and goods and so that plus all monies and other unsold inventories items from the will are to be returned within two weeks to the young man!" The slam of his gavel had closed the case.

Astrid had hugged him fiercely. "You won!" she squealed. "You beat them!"

"And not an explosion in sight," Hiccup murmured, glancing down. "All limbs intact as well…well, as intact as they were at the start…"

"Ahem-we can rectify that for you if you want us to, H," Tuff whispered loudly from behind him. The twins and Fishlegs had made it to the court hearing, though Heather and Snotlout were at work. Shaking his head, Hiccup smiled.

"I've got the money back," he said. "I don't need to blow up me or half of our heritage as well."

"Are you sure?" Ruff asked slightly desperately. "Not even a small part of it?"

"No," Hiccup had told them firmly.

"You're right-he is a tyrant," she had said to her twin in a disappointed voice.

"I'd wait until they actually hand the money over," Sven had murmured. "They don't look too happy…"

And when, four weeks later, not one cent had been handed over, Sven, Hiccup and Astrid had stood in front of the same, very irritated Judge again, along with Magnus Magnusson, the lawyer for the BHPS. The man was trying to re-argue the case but the Judge was having none of it.

"You know, I find you in contempt of court and award all costs and significant damages to Lieutenant Hiccup Haddock as well," he said. "And if you do not hand the money over, I will issue a compulsory sale order on Berk Great Hall to free up the funds you owe." Magnus had gasped.

"But that is a priceless Berk heritage site!" he protested.

"No," Astrid said suddenly. "What is priceless are the last wishes of a father to his son. What are priceless are those momentos-that book, that picture, that drawing, that desk ornament-that remind you of your departed parent. That bring back memories that make you smile and ease the pain and emptiness of their absence. But you destroyed those all without a second of hesitation for pure personal greed."

"We are tasked to preserve Berk's heritage!" Magnus retorted.

"And what about Hiccup's heritage?" she demanded furiously, causing the lawyer to back up a pace. "The heritage of his family, his parents, his grandparents that you sold off or binned like trash! Notwithstanding that he comes from one of Berk's oldest families anyway-from the line of Chiefs-and you stole his possessions and threw them away! That's not preserving Berk's heritage-it's cultural vandalism!"

There was an awkward pause as Magnus swung his gaze to the auburn-haired man.

"The Society may have kept any antique or valuable items for the collection," he admitted. The Judge glared at him.

"Okay-the money is in his account tomorrow and every single artefact is returned or the Great Hall is on sale on Thursday! Understand?" he roared. Magnus sighed and then produced a bank order. Very reluctantly, he handed it over to Hiccup.

"The remaining unsold items will be delivered where you specify next week," he said in a defeated voice. Hiccup stared at the cheque, reading the amount in shock.

"Um…this says three hundred and twenty three thousand one hundred and ninety-eight dollars and forty-seven cents," he said, lifting his gaze. The Judge checked his records.

"That's correct," he said. He looked wildly round at Astrid and saw her grinning. She punched him in the arm and he yelped. "Ow! Why?"

"To make sure you realise this is real," she told him.

"Um…thanks? I guess?" he managed wryly. She nudged him with a smile.

"I guess pizza is on you tonight," she smirked and gave a small smile.

"I'll even stand you a garlic bread," he offered.

"Last of the big spenders," she scoffed and kissed him on the cheek then looked up to see Sven smiling and offering them a letter. It was in Stoick Haddock's bold round hand.

"You father wanted you to have this once the will was enacted," he said and Hiccup stared at the letter. Astrid looked at him, seeing all the colour drain from his face.

"Open it," she urged him and he nodded.

"At home," he said quietly. "Once this is all done. But first…" He walked to the Judge and offered his hand. "Thank you, sir for allowing my father's wishes to be observed," he said and the Judge smiled, laying down his half-moon spectacles and shaking his hand firmly.

"I assure you, the honour is all mine," he said with a smile. "You are the only Medal of Honor winner that Berk has ever produced and if I can in some way ease your transition to civilian life, then it is the least I can do. Thank you for your service." Hiccup stood back and ripped off a flawless salute.

"The honour is all mine," he replied with a smile then turned back to Magnus. "I will expect a list of all the items-and if anything is missing compared to the list originally submitted when the award was made to you, we will be back here," he said. "I will visit and it may be I will wish to remove some of the items. But some may remain as a loan to BHPS-on the proviso that I can revoke the loan at a time of my choosing. Is that understood?" There was a reluctant nod.

"It's better than nothing," he shrugged. "I'll tell the Trustees and the Operations Manager." Hiccup nodded-and then he shook Sven's hand.

"Thank you again," he said genuinely. "What you have done…" Sven smiled.

"I was honoured to serve your father and I hope to be available to offer you legal counsel and advice-if requested-for some time to come, Lieutenant Haddock," he said. Hiccup smiled and clasped Astrid's hand.

"Just call me Mister Haddock," he said. "The war is over."

oOo

Back at the apartment, Hiccup had changed back into his old jeans and hung his suit and shirt up neatly, to hand to Astrid to hang in her room but his eyes remained on the thick envelope held in his hands as he sat on the couch, his good leg folded under him and Toothless immediately on the couch at his side. Astrid paused and then headed for her bedroom.

"I'll head in here while you…'coz I'm sure you'll want to be…" she said, gesturing to the door but he extended his hand to her, emerald eyes looking at her pleadingly.

"Stay," he said roughly. "Please…"

"Of course," she said and hung her coat up, before she settled at his side, snuggling against him. He gave a wan smile and then carefully opened the envelope. In fact, there were two thick pieces of paper within, marked with his father's bold hand in black fountain pen. Frowning, he lifted the first one, which was dated a couple of months after he left home and had been disowned.

 _My Dear Son,_

 _It has been eight weeks, three days and a couple of hours since you stormed out of the house, stubbornly defying my commands and accepting my harsh decision to disown you because you went into the Army. There has not been a moment when I have not regretted the decision or the words we exchanged. It is only the fact I am too stubborn that has prevented me from coming to speak to you and try to patch it up._

 _I know that you will not understand why I did what I did-but you have to understand, son-it was all to protect you. When your mother was dying, she made me promise to protect you, to prevent you from joining the forces and suffering the same traumas that I did. I know you barely recall her, but she was a wonderful, kind, understanding woman who loved me even when I was broken after I returned home from war. But she saw how much I suffered and she never wanted that for you-and she could already see how similar we were. So when you said you were joining up, I had to stop you._

 _My methods were wrong-I see that now. But I have driven such a wedge between you that I am not sure I can possibly repair it. And if I contacted you, what can I say? I don't support your choice, not because it is not your choice to make but because seeing you in uniform would remind me of how badly I have failed dear Valka. All I can do is one day hope you will come home and give me a chance to explain…and maybe beg your forgiveness._

 _But I know for now that I must accept the catastrophe I have caused and wait. I love you son and I am proud for you. I wanted more than blood and death for you because you have it in you to create, not destroy…and I hope, one day, you will see that as well._

 _Your loving Father_

Hiccup blinked and stared at the words. Of all the things he had expected, this was not it. His mind was reeling, his eyes burning with tears and guilt clutching at his stomach. His had been as harsh as his father and the words they had yelled at each other had been cruel and devastating. And his Father had been right: he was still steaming weeks later and he would have rejected any advances by his father. He sighed. If they had only spoken, the years of silence and isolation, those wasted leaves and wounds unhealed would have been avoided. He shook his head. And then he turned to the other letter, dated the day before Gobber's and he found his hand was trembling.

 _My Dear Son,_

 _I cannot tell you how proud I am of your valour and the fine man and officer you have become. I should have written sooner but silence becomes a habit-though I read and keep every letter you write. The proudest moment of my life was when I received the invitation for your Medal of Honor presentation by the President. And I wish with all my heart that I could have attended and made my peace with you at such an occasion._

 _But the years have not been kind-just punishment for my stupidity in pushing my only son away and failing the promise I made my wife. A year ago, I suffered a severe stroke which left me paralysed down one side and confined to a chair. I have employed a nurse to help look after my needs because I have no one else. Gods, I wish Gobber was here but I can't talk to him either about this. I can't really talk to anyone any more. But I would have loved to see my son stand forward to receive that honour, to prove what I always told Val when you were born so small and early: that you would be the strongest of them all._

 _But my pride prevents me coming-that and the strains of the long journey to Washington on my already frail health. I know you will not understand, that you will assume that I do not care. But I could not be more proud of you, son. I have restored you to you place as my Heir-something I should've done sooner but again, I was too proud. Pride means nothing now._

 _I just wish I could see you again. I have asked that Sven ensures you are my heir once more but he is under orders not to allow you to be informed of my death if you are overseas, only once you have returned home. I do not want to be responsible for distracting you at a critical moment in such a dangerous place. I know I don't have long-I have suffered further mini-strokes that precede another major one…one that my physicians assure me I would not survive. Time has run out. If by some miracle I am still alive when you return from deployment, I will see you-but this letter is written in the eventuality that I will die before then._

 _I love you, son. I could not be more proud of you. And I hope one day to meet in Valhalla and apologise to you in person._

 _Farewell_

 _Your Loving Father._

Tears dripped down Hiccup's face and landed on the letter, smudging the words. Astrid gently moved the paper before the precious letter was lost and swiped her eyes as she saw sobs shudder through him.

"I would have come, Dad," he whispered. "I would have come in a heartbeat. And if I had come, Thug would be alive, I would have my leg and…" He sighed. "And I could've told you I loved you too. I'm sorry, Dad. I wasn't the son you hoped for. I wasn't the soldier, the man you wanted. I-I'm just a failure…"

Astrid wrapped his sobbing shape in her arms, hugging him close as he clung to her, shaking with grief. Her eyes were stinging with grief and sympathy as well that their stubbornness and pride had denied the two men time together that could never to replaced. That misunderstanding and poor communication allowed the men to remain separate for too long when one needed the other.

"I knew he hadn't destroyed them," he whispered brokenly. "He read them all. I just wished he had sent one single reply-and I would have returned. One word he was ill and I would have come home. He was my Dad and I loved him."

"He always loved you, Hiccup," she whispered back. "And now you know it. It will hurt, Hiccup-but it's a start. And these letters will help you realise that." He nodded, sniffing, then looked up, palming his wet face dry.

"Thanks, Astrid," he said and then rubbed Toothless, who had rested his head lovingly on his leg. "You too, bud," he murmured. "Not sure what I would do without you." Astrid kissed his cheek.

"You'd have to order your own pizza," she told him playfully and he smiled wanly.

"At least I can afford to move out," he admitted and her face fell, her eyes betraying her utter dismay at the words. "Or not…" She got up and walked to the kitchen, her entire pose telling him that she was suddenly upset. "Astrid?"

"It's fine," she said softly. "I mean, now you have money, you can't want to keep sleeping on my sagging old couch…" He carefully got up and walked towards her.

" _Your_ couch…maybe I would," he said quietly. "Astrid…what's wrong?" She swallowed and forced a smile onto her face.

"You deserve so much more," she told him bravely. "You'll have a home now, not staying with some messed up woman who still hasn't gotten over losing her parents…" He leaned close to her, his eyes still red from his tears and he read misery in her beautiful azure gaze. Astrid had been so strong, so sure and so supportive throughout everything.

"I can't imagine a home without you in," he told her taking her hand. He pulled her round to face her. "And with the two of us and Toothless, this place is very snug." He swallowed. "But I don't want to leave you, Astrid. With-with the money and the fact I'm now earning as well maybe…we could rent an apartment together?" He stared into her face and saw her expression shift into shock. "Or we could stay here," he added. "I mean…if you'll still allow me…"

"But…why…?" she asked, staring into his face. He gave a small, lopsided smile.

"I don't want to be alone," he murmured. "And I don't want to be without you. I've missed ten years with Astrid…and you've helped me beyond words so maybe you're sick to death of me…"

"I'll never be that," she breathed.

"…but I really want to stay with you because I feel safe with you…so if you don't want to move, please let me stay," he said gently. She looked up into his eyes and rested a hand on his cheek.

"You want to move in together?" she asked him. He nodded.

"Um…I thought I sort of said that…or maybe not…" he shrugged. "But if we find a two bed apartment, it may mean I'm not under your feet so much…"

"Toothless would be happier," she noted and he stared at her then gave a small laugh.

"Toothless? That's where you're going?" he teased her. She stroked his cheek.

"I can't imagine a home without you either," she admitted. "You protect me and I protect you."

"You fix me and I fix you," he amended with a hopeful smile and she grinned at him.

"So where would you like to live?" she asked. He made a show of thinking and then winked.

"Anywhere you are, Milady," he told her with a smirk and she stood up on tiptoes and kissed him.

"Good answer," she said.

oOo

Christmas was approaching fast and Astrid's office space remained a tinsel free zone, though her new office colleagues in the Berk City Environmental Department were nowhere near as crazy on singing Santas and flashing lights as her former workmates. But she smiled more and wished them all 'Happy Holidays' as the office shut for the Christmas period. Stopping at the shops for a few final items, she then hurried through the snowy streets, heading for home.

Abruptly, a hand grabbed her arm and jerked her aside into an alley and she backed way from a buff shape with angry eyes and raven hair in a thick ponytail. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she gasped as she recognised…

"Eret! What-what are you doing here?" she demanded. He advanced on her.

"Seeing what a frigid bitch does on a freezing night," he sneered. "You know, you owe me…"

"I owe you nothing," she spat as he shoved her back.

"I think you owe me a goodbye for everything I did for you," he growled and she backed up again, eyes darting from side to side for a way out.

"What you did for me? You undermined my confidence, facilitated my drinking and were abusive," she snapped. "I was well shot of you!"

His hand shot out before she could react, closing on her throat and choking her angry voice to silence.

"Then I guess only one of us is going to enjoy this then." he sneered and hauled her further into the gloom. She fought and struggled, her bags dropping to the ground.

"Hel…lp…" she choked and a faint barking sounded. Furiously, she kicked Eret's leg and his grip briefly slackened. "Toothless!" she grunted. _"Toothless!"_

The slap he dealt her greyed her vision and knocked the breath from her and almost drowned out the patter of paws and the sounds of approaching feet. Eret grabbed at her again…

…as a black shape hit him at throat height, growling furiously. Yelling in sudden shock, he went down, trying to fend off the furious dog as it savaged the man. Astrid staggered back-into a warm pair of arms that enfolded her. She struggled in desperation until someone leaned close.

"Easy, Milady-you're safe now."

The tension left her and she sagged against him, the shock and fear overwhelming her as tears started to course down her cheeks. He caught her face between his hands and stared into her brimming eyes. "I am right here, Astrid. I just need to stop Toothless-okay?" She nodded dumbly as he whistled and the dog retreated from the cowering shape, eyes staring up wildly at the man standing over him.

"I'll have that beast destroyed!" Eret spat in hatred. Hand digging in his pocket, Hiccup thumbed in 9-1-1 as he lifted the cell phone to his ear.

"Police," he said shortly. "I'm reporting an attempted rape. I have the suspect subdued in the alley between Gobber's Forge and the Pie Factory. Please come urgently." Then he glared at the cowering and savaged man. "Please try to resist," he said softly. "Because I really want an excuse to kill you." Eyes swivelling between the furious dog with the bared and bloody fangs and arched back and the tall, lean auburn-haired man with the blazing emerald eyes, Eret lay back.

"I surrender," he said in defeat as the first sirens sounded. "I'll come quietly."

oOo

A couple of hours later, they arrived back at their apartment, with Hiccup carrying the bags and ensuring the shaken Astrid was okay. Their friends were due over that evening and Astrid had insisted that they went ahead with the Christmas Eve gathering. She headed to the shower while he put the snacks in the oven and made his non-alcoholic fruit punch, while feeding Toothless and waiting his turn to shower. When Astrid emerged, she was bright red from a too-hot shower and there was a shamed light in her eyes.

"I'm going to have another bruise," she said tonelessly and he instantly wrapped his arms around her, kissing her tenderly on the lips.

"You do know your friends will think I did it," he told her mildly. "They're never going to believe Eret popped out of nowhere and attacked you…"

"Except he did," she admitted in a tight voice. "Why?" He kissed her again.

"Because he's an ass?" he suggested gently. "I suspect no one will give him the time of day and he blames you because you very sensibly wouldn't take him back." He tapped his temple. "Too much psychotherapy, Milady. I'm even starting to think like a therapist."

"You smell like a garage mechanic," she admitted and reluctantly broke away from him, shoving him towards the shower. "They'll be here in fifteen minutes!" He rolled his eyes.

"See, bud? This is what happens when you try to be kind to your girlfriend…" he grumbled as Toothless yawned and curled up on the couch. "So much for man's best friend…"

"Shower! Now!"

The door bell rang as he limped from the shower, wrapped in a towel and Astrid smirked at him but held off letting the friends in until he had vanished into the bedroom to get dressed. Heather was first in, hugging Astrid and offering presents. Fishlegs followed with Snotlout and the twins trailing behind, laden with gifts and food. They handed their coats in and gaped at the main living room: a large tree was decorated with lights and baubles in the corner, copious amounts of tinsel wrapped around the base. Lights decorated the main window and fireplace and chips and snacks were laid out on the kitchen counter. Candles flickered on the fireplace and in the window.

"What happened to Astrid Scrooge?" Heather asked and earned herself a punched shoulder.

"I was never ever mean!" she protested and Heather winced as she rubbed her bruising shoulder.

"I meant in terms of observing Christmas, not the whole money thing," she protested hastily.

"Ah. Well-I found reasons why this time of year is worth celebrating," Astrid told her as she got them all drinks. Snotlout and the twins took beers but the others all had the fruit punch as Hiccup emerged, still damp but neat in his best jeans and favourite leaf green tee-shirt with a festive robin redbreast waistcoat that flattered his lean frame.

"Hey, guys!" he greeted them and they all smiled in return. Astrid had kind of forgiven them as they had all, in their own ways, proved that they realised what she had seen in Hiccup-and respected her choices. And they all had to admit-Snotlout _very_ reluctantly-that Astrid was far happier with the auburn-haired veteran than with anyone else. They all still volunteered intermittently for the shelters and had agreed to spend part of Christmas Day ensuring the homeless had a decent Christmas as well. But this evening, they were meeting up for drinks, snacks and presents.

"Hey, cuz!" Snotlout was the first to greet him because he had finally made his peace with Hiccup. In the summer, after Hiccup had gone through the bulk of his counselling, he had requested a talk with the stocky man and Snotlout had reluctantly agreed. It had done wonders for them both, for Snot had admitted he bullied Hiccup because he was jealous of the skinny boy's wit, intelligence and courage and because his father had encouraged that. That little fact had astonished Hiccup who had learned that Spitelout was jealous as well-of Stoick and Hiccup and had wanted the smaller boy to feel wretched and ruin their close relationship. Spitelout had not spoken to his brother since he moved the Meathead and had refused to accept any calls about Hiccup when he was injured and when he was homeless. Snotlout had only found out during the last months when he had revealed he was friends with his cousin-and had met his father's anger and jealousy full on.

 _"_ _He wanted me to be the brave, handsome warrior and he was furious you turned out to be the one," he had revealed. "He realised I could never match what you achieved-and you were the scrawny runt of the family! So when Uncle Stoick died, he said he would be next of kin but then totally failed to live up to that and help you as he promised. I should have said something but…I was jealous as well. But I know that it was stupid too. To be honest, I never wanted to do anything like that-I'm not built for that."_

 _"_ _Nor am I," Hiccup had replied. Snot had offered him his hand._

 _"_ _I think you're everything your Dad would be proud of-and I would be proud to have you as my cousin," he said._

Fishlegs had also apologised and explained that he regretted his stupidity for years but he didn't have any way to get in contact with Hiccup. Silently thinking that it didn't excuse the way they treated him when he returned, he had accepted the apology and given the man a chance, realising that the way people behaved as teenagers responding to peer pressure wasn't always the way they would when they were more mature adults. He had been given a new start so he was willing to grant the friends a chance-though he wouldn't trust them necessarily until they proved trustworthy.

He had grabbed a fruit punch and a mini pizza canapé and had sat carefully by Astrid, making sure she was okay. She still looked pale and her eyes had searched for him until he had settled by her side, an arm sliding gently round her waist. He felt the sigh shudder through her and she rested against him, her lips lifting up into a small smile of relief.

"You okay?" he whispered and she nodded.

"I am now," she smiled, her arm wrapping around his narrow waist.

"Presents!" Tuff yelled and threw himself on the rug by the fire, earning a growl from Toothless who had already occupied the place. The dog batted him in the face with a firm paw and Tuff collapsed back, whining. "I am hurt! I am very much hurt!" he whinged.

"I doubt it," Astrid murmured. "I saw what he did to Eret…"

"Eret?" Ruff said suddenly. "What about him?" Astrid stiffened and her shoulders sagged.

"He attacked me this evening, on the way back here," she admitted. "That's why we were late-we had to give statements to the police." Ruff was shaking her head.

"But why would he attack you?" she asked in confusion. "He's been seeing me for the last three months. I mentioned that you would be at the Forge this evening to meet with Hiccup and…" And then she slapped her hands over her mouth as the others stared at her. "That godless rancid stinking son of a half-troll! He was only seeing me to get to you? I'll rip off his…"

"He's not going to have a very happy new year," Hiccup murmured to Astrid, who was shaking with anger as well.

"If Ruff doesn't make him a soprano, I will," she growled. He pressed a small kiss on her temple.

"Remind me never to annoy you," he said and rose, then handed out gifts to the friends from under the tree. "Open them now-because you're spending the day with your families…"

"And with you in the Jotunheim Street Homeless Shelter for lunch," Heather added with a grin. Hiccup had lobbied the charity and made sure at least one shelter took dogs so that homeless people with pets weren't excluded from the chance of a warm bed and hot food. Jotunheim Street was that shelter so Toothless would be going along with him as well.

The twins were ecstatic to receive vouchers for a 'Wing Suit Experience' that would allow them to try the insanely dangerous sport which they had been talking about for years but had never got around to attempting. Fishlegs received an encyclopaedia of wild flowers, acknowledging his secret love of botany and he had been thrilled and tearful at the thoughtful gift. Heather received a dress and clutch purse that she had been wanting but could never justify buying though Astrid and especially Hiccup had an ulterior motive for buying the gift, knowing that Fishlegs was planning to ask her out for New Year's Eve. She had hugged Astrid without hesitation and then had hugged the shocked Hiccup as well.

Snotlout stared at his parcel.

"It's a book," he commented, knowing he wasn't much of a reader. Hiccup smiled.

"I think you'll enjoy this one," he said as the stocky man opened the paper to reveal a book titled 'How to Make A Success of Your Own Business'. Hiccup smiled. "I know you want to open that fitness business, Snot," he said understandingly. "But you've never had to nerve to tell Spitelout, have you? This will help you to set up the business and have everything in line so when you tell him, it's a fait accompli." Snotlout blinked.

"I-I don't know what to say," he said in a choked voice. "I don't deserve this when I was so horrible to you."

"No, you don't," Astrid said honestly. "But this is all about new beginnings." Then she fished out a flat box with gold ribbon and a bow and handed it to Hiccup. "Yours next." He accepted it wordlessly and carefully unpicked the tape, unfolding the paper precisely, his brows furrowed in concentration. She stared at him and huffed. "Just open it already!" she told him in exasperation and he smiled at her impatience: his engineer's brain caused him to analyse things and be careful and precise much to her chagrin. Finally he pulled out a large flat box and opened it-and gaped.

Within was his Medal of Honor-but with it were the ribbons and medals of all his other awards and honours that he had earned during his service. In the lid of the presentation box was a simple inscription: LIEUTENANT HICCUP H HADDOCK, 5TH BERK INFANTRY. He blinked at stared at her.

"I got back all your medals and asked the Army to re-issue your ribbons in recognition that they never took proper care of you when you left as an injured veteran," she told him.

"I'm twenty-six, not sixty," he grumbled. "Veteran sounds so _old_!" And then he smiled. "But…thank you, Astrid. This means so much to me…" She kissed him.

"It's your past, your history, babe," she told him gently. "Not all of your past is bad and some bits…you should be very proud of." He smiled against her lips and nuzzled her.

"Especially you," he sighed and then pulled away. He handed her a small box with a huge golden bow on top. "Your turn, Milady," he said shyly and gave a small smile. "Um…hope it's okay." Her eyes widened and she began to tear the paper open heedlessly to reveal a small dark blue jewellery box. The twins were nudging each other and Heather was holding her breath as Astrid opened it-to reveal a platinum ring-with a solitaire diamond on it. Her mouth dropped open in an 'O'.

"Is it…?" she whispered. He smiled.

"It's whatever you want it to be," he told her gently and then swivelled to face her. "But we have been together for almost a year-though only sort of officially for the last nine months-and you have helped me so much in dealing with-with everything. You have fixed me, made me the person I used to be before my life collapsed. And you have given me a home, hope and a future. I can never thank you enough. Last Christmas, I couldn't see any future. This one, I can't see a future without you. So I'd like to ask you…no pressure, of course…if you wanted to spend every other Christmas with me? Milady?"

She blinked, her eyes shining as she pulled the ring free and stared at it, candlelight gleaming of the diamond. Then she looked into his hopeful emerald eyes and nodded.

"Yes," she said in a small voice. "Yes please…" He gently took the ring and slid it onto the third finger of her left hand then leaned in to kiss her. "And you…you fixed me too," she mumbled as they kissed. There was a pause as their friends cheered and Toothless barked excitedly. They rested their foreheads together.

"Are you okay?' he asked, his hands gentle on her cheeks as he kissed her again. She stared at him and smiled.

"Yes, thank you," she smiled. "You've given me hope, a new life, a future…and finally, a reason to enjoy Christmas." he chuckled and hugged her as their friends raised their glasses to the couple. "You saved me, I saved you-that's how it works, my love. Best Christmas ever," she smiled as she snuggled against him. His arm tightened around her and warm, loved and secure, Hiccup nodded, his face lit with a smile.

"And many more to come with you, Milady," he said happily. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Hiccup."

 **The End.**

 **A/N: Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you all-harrypanther.**


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